Unequally Yoked
by gammaraygus
Summary: Shayera is 30 weeks pregnant and John is concerned about the implications of the Chronos Affair and the impending birth.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: The Miracle**

As the sun slowly begins to rise a small ray of sunshine breaks into the room. Nature's alarm clock causes him to squint behind closed, tired eyes. He opens his left eye and then his right . He looks over at the manmade alarm clock sitting silently on the nightstand and groans. Gradually sitting up, he takes a long stretch and joints still aching from the previous night's battle, awake. "Oww", he says quietly and wincing. Now sitting fully upright and with his back against the headboard, he looks over at her. He looks over and gazes at the figure next to him. He is gazing at his angel.

His earlier movements have caused her to murmur and shift her body position ever so slightly, but she remains on her side facing him and more importantly, she remains asleep. He can hear her long, slow breaths and an occasional snore. A small smile crosses his face as he observes the locks of brilliant red hair lightly covering the side of her face. Although he has looked upon her body countless times, his eyes are still drawn toward her uniqueness. "_My wife has wings_", he states to himself, shaking his head in mock disbelief. He reaches his hand out, taking care not to wake her, and gently rubs her left wing. He laughs internally with a degree of self-satisfaction as he realizes that very few people will ever know the warmth and softness of her feathers. However, his eyes narrow and his brow tightens, as he stops rubbing her wing and slowly reaches out to touch the miracle.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Twins**

He gently caresses her swollen abdomen and is once again instantly awed. Even after seven months, a man who with a mere thought can will objects into existence, has explored the deepest parts of the universe, traveled in time, and has seen the hand of God - literally, is awed by this "simplest" of miracles. The miracle of life or in the Stewart's case, lives. "_Twins_", he says to himself, allowing a huge grin to come across his face, "_I can't believe we are having twins_". She begins to murmur from his caress, but remains asleep. Still smiling, he slowly and quietly lifts the sheets and steps out on _his_ side of the bed. _She_ sleeps on the right. He is immediately hit by the chilly, crisp morning air and quickly makes his way across the wood floor toward the bathroom. Rubbing his arms he reminds himself how her normally warm-nature seemed to increase nearly ten-fold during the first trimester. "_It's the extra blood, dummy_", she would tell him.

Opening the bathroom door, he turns on the lights and starts the shower. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror he begins to brush his teeth and silently wonders if her desire to move here, high in the mountains, was driven by some innate instinct to nest on high ground. "Nest", he says quietly laughing, remembering the joke future Virgil had made about the size of the egg she laid to bring their son into the world. "Our son", he says slowly, pausing and staring at his reflection in the mirror. After a few seconds he casts his eyes downward and a small frown begins to form on his forehead.

To this day he has never revealed to his wife the future he and Bruce saw. He convinced himself long ago that if it were truly destiny for them to be together then he would not help God out by obligating her in advance. Besides, as his grandmother had often told a once young and anxious John Stewart, "_Things happen in God's time, not man's time_". To a certain degree, knowing the future all these years had been a source of comfort for him. It had revealed his fondest wish and it often reassured him during the League's more dangerous missions. Lately, however, his knowledge of the future had become a source of anxiety and the former Marine's sleep habits were beginning to reveal his growing angst.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Fortress of Solitude**

Since discovering he and Shayera were going to have twins, John has had a feeling of trepidation. The initial announcement brought him incredible joy, but it was quickly replaced by incredible anxiety. No one, not Virgil and not even Warhawk, had made mention of a twin brother or sister when he and Bruce traveled to the future. He thinks to himself how curious it is that he and Bruce haven't talked about that mission since Shayera became pregnant. They are the only ones who remember the events, but when they do talk, or when they did talk about it, they privately referred to it as the Chronos affair.

The steam from the shower begins to simultaneously fog the mirror over the sink and warm the bathroom. He wipes the condensation off of the mirror with his left hand, finishes brushing his teeth and steps into the warm, welcoming water of the shower.

"Why do these fortresses of solitudes always have to be in cold places?" he asks, allowing the warm water to run over his head and down his body.

"Because the cold air helps me think, ya big wuss", a voice near the bathroom door calls out. The still sleepy figure of Shayera Stewart steps into the doorway.

_Damn that hearing of hers_. "I see the eagle has landed" he says grinning from behind the oversized glass shower door.

"Ha, ha", she replies dryly with a yawn.

She is standing in the open doorway in a _modified_ nightgown. The length of the nightgown accentuates what he affectionately calls her "_Buddha belly_". She begins to stretch her arms and in unison, her wings begin to unfold and extend as well. It is a sight he never gets tired of seeing. The rays of sunshine pass through the bathroom doorway, surrounding and illuminating her fully extended figure. In that instant he swears he can hear the sounds of the choir invisible.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Chronos**

"You're up early", she says finishing her stretch.

_Not by choice_. "Yeah, you know, once a Marine always a Marine. So how are you feeling this morning?" he says, lathering the soap on his left forearm.

"Good, but I'd be better if someone had cut the alarm off _before_ getting out of bed," she says in mock anger.

"Whoops".

"Yeah. Whoops", she replies, folding her arms and leaning against the doorway entry. "I'm sleeping for three now ya know", she says smiling and holding up three fingers.

He smiles back, but she knows something is bothering him. She peers at her husband through the shower door, puts her right hand up to her mouth and yawns again. She walks towards the bathroom mirror, pauses in front of it and leans forward for a closer inspection of her face. Using both hands, she lightly teases her bangs.

"So, you wanna talk about it or do I have to drag it out of you?" she says leaning back from the mirror and turning towards the shower door.

"Talk about what?" he replies, turning his head towards her.

"John, this is the third night in a row that you've gotten up early", she says walking toward the shower door. "It's not like you". She pauses, looks down and begins to gently rub her stomach with her right hand. _They're strong, like their father_. A smile crosses her face. "So what's goin' on?" she says as the smile eases away and she looks worriedly back up at him.

"Nothing", he says shrugging his shoulders, noticing her worry and trying to be nonchalant. "Just having some restless nights that's all", he replies.

"John, I love you, but you are a terrible liar", she says folding her arms again. "What, did you forget that I was a detective before I was a member of the League?" she says staring at him intently. "You've been lathering that same arm since I walked in here", she says pointing at his arm while tapping her finger on the shower door.

"Well, maybe this arm is extra dirty", he replies, trying to lighten the mood. She doesn't smile, but continues to stare at him. He begins to slowly lather his other arm before she speaks.

"John, what or who is Chronos?"

_Damn_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Secrets**

Five years and seven months. That is how long it has been since the Chronos affair. Consequently, that is also how long he has kept it a secret. _Secret_. There it is again, that word. In spite of his best efforts, it has yet again defined their relationship. Except this time, in the grandest of ironies, he is the one with the secret. In that instant, like a bolt of lightning, comes his epiphany. Now he _knows_ what Shayera was going through.

For five years she kept her true mission and identity a secret from hom and everyone else. Then her former lover, no, fiancé, arrived and her secret was played out not in private, but in the most damning public way possible. Her secret manifested itself in the form of an advance army, shock troops and ultimately an occupational force. When the dust finally settled, she was branded the ultimate pariah - a traitor to everyone.

On one level he understood. She was a soldier believing that she was doing her duty. Was he not a soldier at one time? Is he not a soldier even now? She had tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen that night in the Watchtower's infirmary. He heard the words, "_It's not that simple. John, this can't go any further_". She was crying out for help and seeking to escape her duality. Only in hindsight does he now have the wisdom to understand. If only he had let her explain, she may have told him the truth that night, but he didn't want to hear it and she was tired of denying her feelings.

_So here we are again, except this time the shoe is on the other foot_.

"Earth to John?" she says tapping her finger on the glass of the shower door.

"Huh?" he says, snapping out of his internal monologue.

"I was asking you a question and you kinda spaced out there".

"I'm sorry. Still trying to wake up is all" he says trying to smile sincerely. _Stall, buy some time_.

"What is Chronos?" she asks again staring intently at his face.

_Too late_. Even through the growing condensation on the shower door he can feel the penetrating stare of her green eyes.

"Where did you hear that word?" he asks, turning his back to the shower head.

"You told me".


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Truth**

"I told you?" he asks somewhat shocked. "I don't remember talking to you about Chronos", he replies, now lathering his thighs.

"Well you probably wouldn't", she says yawning. "But, you've been saying it in your sleep every night for the past two weeks", she states, walking back towards the mirror and throwing her hands up over her head. "And by _saying_, I mean yelling", she says reaching for her toothbrush. "You don't have to be Batman to know that whatever this Chronos thing is it's bothering you", she remarks, while unscrewing the top off of the tube of toothpaste. "And if you have problems sleeping, then I have problems sleeping", she says pointing her thumb toward her chest. She is about to brush her teeth and then pauses. Smiling, she turns toward the shower door and does her best Bill Bixby-Bruce Banner impersonation, "And you wouldn't like me when I'm sleepy". She laughs aloud, proud of how she was able to mix her adopted planet's pop culture into the conversation.

_Think, John. Think!_ He knows that how he decides to answer her question will have far-reaching ramifications. If he lies to her and she discovers the truth, she will never trust him again. In one moment, he will have undermined his entire marriage and thrown away all of the work it has taken to get to this point. On the other hand, if he tells her the truth, how will she know that what they have had for all these years is real? In her way, she will come to the conclusion that they've just been actors following a preordained script and she will hate him. She will hate him because he cheated. He already knew how it would end because he had proverbially skipped to the last page of the story by traveling to the future. Worse, it would also mean that he could have spared her the pain of losing Carter.

"I swear, John. What is wrong with you? It's like you're moving in slow-motion today or something!" she says exasperated. "How long does it take one person to get clean for God's sake? I've got freakin' wings to wash and it doesn't take me as long as you!" she says extending her wings and lightly flapping them.

"Well if you didn't keep it like a meat locker in here I wouldn't HAVE to use the shower to thaw out!" he says, more angrily than he meant. _Nice. Real smooth, John_.

She stares at him briefly, frowns and turns to rinse out her toothbrush. She turns the water off at the sink and dries her hands on one of the hanging towels. She has her back to him, but slowly turns to face him after putting the towel back. "Okay. What the hell is going on?" she calmly asks, putting her hands on her hips and obviously annoyed at his earlier response.

"I'm, I'm sorry, Shayera", he says remorsefully while turning off the water in the shower. "I'm cranky because I'm not sleeping well, but the last thing I want to do is take it out on you". He opens the shower door and begins to step out. "A little help?" he asks pointing toward the heated towel rack.

"Oh, yeah. Sure", she says slightly smiling.

_Uh, oh_.

She takes one of the bigger towels off of the rack, bundles it up and throws it, hitting him squarely in the face. "Ouch! Hey, I said I was sorry" he says aloud. _I don't think even Wally could have avoided that_. He drys off his upper torso and then wraps the towel around his waist and walks toward her. She is now standing with her arms crossed and still frowning. He bends his head down and gently kisses her on the forehead. "You know I love you".

She slowly drops her arms and wraps them around his waist. She pulls him close to her and squeezes. "You better". She rests her head on his chest. "Ow!" she cries out.

"What? I didn't do anything", he says alarmed.

"Not you, dummy", she says rubbing her belly and laughing. "I think the twins are trying to kick you for yelling at mommy. They're very protective you know", she remarks smiling. "Oh. Oh! Here. Put your hand right there". She guides his hand to the right side of her belly and smiles again. "You feel that?"

"Wow", he exclaims gently rubbing her abdomen and shaking his head. "I never get tired of this".

"Those are our babies, John. Yours and mine", she says softly, looking up at him and laughing a little. He loves to see her laugh. It is one of the rare times she lets go of her tough exterior and he is glad that it is happening more frequently. "Can you believe it? In just a few short weeks we'll be a full-fledged family".

They are gazing into each other's eyes, both smiling and then tears slowly begin to form.

"Why are you crying?" she asks lovingly, reaching up and rubbing away his tears with her thumbs.

_The sins of the father are visited upon the children. I'll not start their lives with a lie_. "We've got to talk, Shayera" he finally says, composing himself. "I need to tell you about Chronos".


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Reprieved**

"Hold that thought. I wanna jump in the shower first" she says slowly disrobing.

_Oh, great. Here I am ready to spill the beans and now she wants to take a shower_.

"I hope you haven't run all of the hot water out", she remarks reaching into the oversized shower and turning on the faucets.

"No chance of that since you were barking at me to get out", he says drying himself off.

"Pahleeze. You went through enough water for Aquaman".

She steps into the shower and avoids getting her hair wet by allowing the water to run down her chest. He pauses and begins to stare at her through the shower door, but he is looking past her nakedness. His eyes are fixated on her overall profile. _Is this what Kat would have looked like at seven months?_

"Hey, take a picture, it'll last longer" she says playfully.

"Sorry, but there is nothing more beautiful nor more radiant than a pregnant woman", he says smiling and slightly bowing.

"Oh, you're good. No wonder you were teacher's pet" she remarks with immediate regret. _Insert foot in mouth Shayera_. "I'm sorry John. I was just joking".

"It's okay" he says reassuringly. "That was then and this is now".   
He silently finishes drying himself off and carefully replaces the towel on the rack. "I'm going to get dressed" he says, walking away with his back to her.

"Okay. I'll be out in a bit" she says raising her voice as he walks out of the bathroom closing the door behind him. _Good job, Captain Callous_.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Flashback**

Nearly three years had passed since the first Mrs. Stewart's funeral, but she of all people knew that the pain and the wounds were still too fresh. "_How stupid of you Shayera!_", she scolded herself. She placed both of her hands on the shower wall and leaned over, letting the warm water run over her hair and face. Closing her eyes, she began to think back to that awful time.

The news was stunning. Katma had been ambushed and died alone. She had been dead for nearly three days before Kilowog found her body. It tore John apart. He had been out on a mission when she died and the guilt of not being there to protect her only added to his immense grief. Her death changed John, but not in a good way. During the months after her death, something was unleashed in him; something primal, something brutal, and something vengeful. She remembers that day well - too well.

Fighting back tears Kilowog touched his COM link and made the fateful report. "I've found her. Tell John…I've found her" he said softly and slowly, his voice cracking ever so slightly.

"I understand", the Martian Manhunter grimly replied. "_He…he has her, John_", J'onn telepathically told him. John thanked him, but did not ask about her condition. He already knew. Her ring's arrival was omen enough. Her dying thoughts were of him and she had willed the ring back to her husband. It had taken three days to arrive, but retracing the ring's path was how they were able to locate her body. It took all of their efforts to prevent him from going out on his own to bring her back. Bruce, as usual, proved to be the most persuasive.

For forty agonizing minutes he waited in his darkened room, alone. Shayera volunteered to wait with him, but he just smiled and politely refused. He gazed at their wedding picture and gently ran his fingers across her two dimensional image. He closed his eyes and his head hung low into his chest. Then the moment he had been dreading came. A low clarion call sounded and a hush fell over the Watchtower. "_John, he has arrived_".

He slowly stood up, gently placed the picture on the bed they used to share and deeply exhaled. He touched the wall panel which opened the door to their quarters and he began to slowly make his way toward the hangar. It was a short journey and one he had taken many times before, but on this day, this God awful day, it seemed to take forever. The usually bustling main corridor of the Watchtower, with its assortment of personnel and costumed heroes alike, had come to a standstill. It was so quiet that he could hear the echo from every one of his footsteps. Upon arriving at the landing bay, he found the other founding members already there. He walked through them without speaking. Clark started to approach, but Bruce put his hand on Clark's shoulder. Clark turned and Bruce shook his head. Clark nodded and stepped back.

The landing bay doors opened and the Javelin made its slow descent. Once inside, the doors closed and the room pressurized. The Javelin's ramp opened and Kilowog, holding her body, slowly walked down. His massive frame belied the tenderness in which he carried his charge. She was covered, head to toe, in a thick black and green blanket with the Green Lantern Corps insignia on top. John clenched his fists and began to walk toward them. Kilowog stopped at the end of the ramp and waited. When her husband arrived at the foot of the Javelin's ramp, Kilowog was openly crying, but earnestly holding Katma's body. Now standing in front of his fellow Green Lantern, John slowly held his arms out and Kilowog tenderly placed Katma's body on the Marine's outstretched arms.

"I'm so sorry, John" he said stepping aside and placing his hand on John's left shoulder.

John brought her body close to his chest and held his face close to hers. He closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and then slowly fell to his knees. Still cradling her lifeless body, he began to rock back and forth, sobbing. His cries echoed off the walls of the massive landing bay. Tears began to readily flow from everyone present. Superman, wiping away his own tears was the first to silently excuse himself. The others followed his lead. All, save one.

She slowly made her way over to her former lover, now widowed, knelt down and embraced him from behind. She then stretched out her wings and wrapped them around both John and Katma.

They remained in that position until the crying stopped. What she didn't know then, and still doesn't know now, is that John was crying not only for Katma, but for the other lost soul wrapped in that blanket with her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: The Debate**

He put his jeans, an old grey colored Marine Corp emblazoned sweater, and hiking boots on before grabbing his flannel jacket, and walking out of their bedroom and onto the connected balcony. As he slipped his right arm into the jacket, he stopped and slowly looked around. The view was spectacular. "_How was she able to afford this place?_" he thought, looking down and gazing at the sun shimmering off of the natural lake in the distance below. To his left he could see the snow capped mountains covered by majestic Pine trees and Blue Spruces, and on the right were natural trails that cut high into the mountains, encapsulated by tall Cedar trees. It was postcard perfect and in stark contrast to his old home. "_All I need now is for Frodo and Sam to come walking by_" he thought, laughing to himself.

Although he missed the energy of his downtown apartment with its cacophony of languages, lights, sounds and smells, he was beginning to like it here. The multi-storied log cabin had been cut into the mountains and had made wonderful use of wood, stone and brick. The cabin was deceptively large as the trees provided effective camouflage. The natural beauty and the serenity of the surroundings had brought him a degree of peace. _Peace_. Up until two years ago that word was foreign to him and something he thought he would never have again.

Katma's death had been extremely difficult for him. As genuinely sympathetic everyone tried to be for his loss, they could never truly be _empathetic_. Only J'onn was able to really relate. The Martian Manhunter's family had been killed and now this sector's Green Lantern had lost his. With the exception of J'onn and Bruce, no one even knew that Katma was pregnant. Not even Shayera. "_How can I tell her?_" he used to think. "_It would be pouring salt into an open wound"_. She and Carter had been having difficulties getting pregnant, but he had hoped, or rather prayed, that they could bear children. He surmised that it would free him from the burden of knowing the future; knowing about Rex.

During the Chronos mission no one had mentioned a Carter and Shayera offspring so if she were able to give birth to another man's child, then maybe, "Just maybe the future hadn't been accurately foretold" he once thought. In the weeks after Katma's death, he began to question his motivation for voluntarily taking a tour of duty out of Earth's sector. Did he leave to rekindle his relationship with Katma or was he on some subconscious level, trying to escape his destiny with Shayera? If that were true then had he used Kat? Did he ever truly lover her? These doubts and other thoughts only added to his grief and growing internal conflict.

"_You are a coward John Stewart. When the times got tough you tucked tail and ran. What a Marine you turned out to be_".

" _No! I left because Shayera needed to know what she and Carter had without me in the way; same for Mari and Steel. I was in the way. In the way of everyone!_"

"_And what a great plan that turned out to be, genius. You run away only to watch the woman you truly love marry someone else!_"

"_No! I loved Kat! I was happy for Shayera!_"

"_Really? So how is that when Katma was alone and dying, when she needed you the most, when she was crying out for help that never came, you were somewhere else? And who were you with? Whose back did you have? Who were you protecting THAT day? Shayera. Someone else's wife. Semper Fi – always faithful, but to whom Marine?_"

"_It was the assigned mission. I had no say on who was with me_".

"_Yeah, keep tellin' yourself that soldier. John, John, John. You can fool them, but you can't fool me. Have you forgotten? I was there when it was Shayera's pain, not Katma's that allowed you to overcome Despero's mind grip_".

"_I needed time! It was just dumb luck that he went after Katma first!_" 

"_Too bad for Katma then, and I guess too bad for her now, is that it? If you were a real man you would have found a way to protect her, but you didn't._

"_I couldn't break loose in time!"_

"_Couldn't or wouldn't? Even now you are still making excuses for your failure_".

"_Go to hell!_"

"_Face it Marine, you let both your wife and child die. It's just that simple. Talk about killing two birds with one stone. What kind of soldier allows those closest to him to die so easily, so carelessly, so…alone? You must be proud_".

The guilt became unbearable. He would continue to war against himself for weeks after her death. Each time the internal debate ended with more rage, more anguish, more guilt, and more tears. Then one day, the guilt, the anguish and the tears all suddenly ended, but the rage remained. _Vengeance is mine so sayeth the Lord_.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Liberation**

Enjoying the morning air, he takes several deep breaths and slowly exhales. The heat vapors drift slowly away from his mouth and disappear. It has been a little over a year since he and Shayera moved from his apartment to the mountains. At first it was a major adjustment; the lack of buildings, the clean air, the isolation. However, when Shayera became pregnant, their new home and its surroundings were exactly what the doctor ordered; peace and quiet. Living in the mountains forced them to slow down and it allowed them to truly reconnect. Even their love-making had improved, he remembers with a slight smile.

They decided to remain on Earth for their honeymoon. Their first night as Mr. and Mrs. Stewart was spent at the log cabin they now call home. "_Mr. and Mrs. Stewart" _he says to himself, grinning. He then laughs aloud remembering how Wally thought it funny to call him "Mr. Hol" at the wedding reception during his toast. "_Smartass_".

Thinking back to their wedding day he remembers the feeling of tremendous liberation when they finally drove, not flew, to the cabin for the first time as a married couple. Yes, he had been here before. This was, after all, Shayera's place. He thinks it strange now, but didn't then, that they had never made love here prior to their wedding night. Sure, they had made love several times at his old apartment and even in the Watchtower, but never here; never at her place, never at her sanctuary, never at her fortress.

A traditionalist, he carried her over the threshold with her wings hanging daintily around his arms.

"I'm home Mama" he said.

"I know Forrest" she replied.

And then they both laughed. It was a routine they never got tired of doing. Forrest Gump was one of the first movies they had seen together and it was easily one of their favorites.

Once inside, he put her down, but continued to embrace her. The back of her head rested against his chest. They both took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Can you believe it Mrs. Stewart?" he asked softly, his arms wrapped around her waist.

"Mrs. Stewart. Mmm" she said shaking her head. "No, I still can't believe it". She turned to face him. "So what do we do now Mr. Stewart?" she asked with a devilish grin.

"Well, I'm gonna go get the bags out of the car" he replied playfully, pointing to the vehicle outside.

She put her hands on her hips. "If you go out to that car, you're gonna be sleeping in it".

He winked and drew her closer to him. "So you wanna go in the bedroom?" he asked slightly smiling.

She slowly shook her head. "No" she said authoritatively, kicking her shoes off.

"Here?"

"Here" she replied, removing her blouse in one smooth motion.

"Uhm, how'd you do that?"

"Practice. I've been waiting for this day for a long, long, long time" she said, unzipping her pants and wriggling out one leg. "So you gonna continue with the 20 questions or get naked?"

"Hmm, let me think" he stated putting his right hand on his chin. "What are my options again?"

"John!" she yelled, throwing her blouse at him.

"Okay! Okay! Naked is, as naked does" he said, removing his shirt and laughing.

As they continued to disrobe, their eyes locked. They began to smile as their state of undress turned into a contest of who could get out of their clothes the fastest. In the process of taking off one of his socks, however, John lost his balance and with his arms flailing, fell to the floor. He hit butt first. She stood over him, victorious in her nakedness. She covered her mouth trying desperately not to laugh. Here they were just moments from being in the throes of passion and her husband crashes to the floor ala the Three Stooges. Unable to hold back, she laughed aloud bending over and placing her hands on her knees. He reached up and grabbed her arm, pulling her down to the floor with him.

"Whoa!" she said, still laughing.

"Gotcha!"

They began to laugh, but it was not driven by their respective falls. Their laughter was one of joy; one of release; one of liberation. After all of the secrets, all of the betrayals, all of the tragedy, all of the indecision, they were finally free. They were together.

Once the laughter had subsided, he remained on his back and she lay across him. Her head rested on his chest. He gently caressed her hair while she listened to his heartbeat. His breathing was slow, deep and rhythmic. Each time he inhaled and exhaled, her head would move up and down. They remained on the floor in their nakedness for several minutes. Their eyes remained closed, as they enjoyed the collective warmth of their bodies. As a Thanagarian, her body temperature had always been higher than his and in the early days of their relationship he had nicknamed her 'the furnace'. On this day the furnace felt especially warm and comforting.

She took a deep breath and exhaled. "Mmm" she quietly murmured, placing her right arm on his chest. She rubbed her hand across his left nipple and suddenly stopped.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly, his eyes still remaining closed.

"Nothing. And it feels great".

"Mmm. You're right. It does".

She stared at her hand as it lay on his smooth, but muscular chest and began to reflect on their contrasting skin colors.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think our children are going to look like?"

He opened his eyes and sat up. He wasn't prepared for her question, but he knew the answer. He had already met their child, but she didn't know that. He could describe Rex in vivid detail; his skin color, hair color, eye color, and physique, but he chose not to. He could have given her information that every future mother would want to know. Yet, he took what he thought would be the path of least resistance. He thought wrong, but lied anyway.

"I don't know".

In the seconds it took to say those three simple words, he had wiped out the feeling of freedom it had taken them years to earn.

Thinking back to the past caused a frown to form in the present. He was leaning on the balcony rail when she stepped out of the bedroom door. Although she was walking toward him, he did not hear her approaching.

"Hey" she said softly, standing next to him and putting her left arm around his waist.

He turned and smiled. "Hey yourself".

She had finished showering and was dressed in blue jeans, a grey turtleneck sweater and hiking boots. Her bright red hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she smelled wonderful. She was clean. She was pure. She was perfect. Her wings hadn't dried yet so she lightly flapped them.

"Here" she said handing him a cup of tea with her right hand. The cold mountain air revealed the beverage's warmth as the heat vapors slowly emanated from the cup.

"Thanks" he replied reaching out, covering her hand with his as he took the cup and saucer.

"Careful. It's hot" she warned.

He took a small sip. "Mmm. Earl Grey. My favorite."

"I know. It's Captain Picard's favorite too" she said smiling and raising an eyebrow. "Coincidence?"

"Man's got good taste" he said trying not to smile. She had found his fan fics awhile back and ever so often, like now, enjoyed playfully teasing him about it. He took another sip, turned and resumed leaning on the rail. He took a deep breath and exhaled. "Beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Yeah it is" she replied softly, joining him on the rail and rubbing her stomach. She started to speak, "Listen, John", but he interrupted her.

"They're beautiful. Are you doing that?" he asked, looking overhead into the open sky.

She looked up and spotted two hawks flying low, slow and in a circle. "Sorry, I can't take credit for that" she answered. "Although…they are asking me what I'm doing standing next to a guy in a flannel jacket" she said, slightly tugging on his sleeve at the elbow.

He smiled and tried to defend himself. "Hey, it's all I had. I don't want to drain my ring trying to stay warm around here".

She started to giggle. "They say you look like a poor man's Grizzley Adams" she said, now openly laughing.

"Oh, nice" he said, taking another sip. "I'm getting fashion advice from a bunch of birds. What is this, queer hawkeye for the black guy?"

His joke made her laugh. After her laughter subsided she began to gently rub the small of his back with her left hand. She then let out a deep sigh. "John, listen. I'm sorry if I opened up any old wounds earlier. I didn't mean to bring back any painful memories for you".

He was listening, but not looking at her. His gaze remained forward as he took another sip of the warm tea. "Don't ever do that" he said softly.

"I know, I know, it was thoughtless…" she responded.

"No, Shayera" he said, turning to face her. "Don't ever apologize to me".

She frowned. "I don't understand".

He sighed and placed the cup of tea on the balcony's rail. He took her hands in his, closed his eyes and lowered his head. "You…you are my angel. You brought me back from the brink Shayera". He opened his eyes again and continued. "I owe you everything. If anyone should be apologizing it's me".

She looked into her husband's eyes, but could not read him. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Let's take a walk" he said, motioning with his head and smiling.

"Where are we going?"

"Through time".


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Willpower**

They descended the stairs from their bedroom and walked toward the log cabin's tall, heavy, double-entry front doors. He grabbed his cap off of the coat stand and she grabbed her earmuffs. After setting the house alarm, they walked outside and proceeded down the front steps. Old habits were hard to break. They were in the middle of nowhere, but he still felt compelled to alarm the house.

"Okay, now where are we going?" she asked adjusting her earmuffs and repositioning her ponytail.

He didn't answer. He looked at her, smiled and held his right hand out. She slowly clasped his hand, smiled back at him, and they began to walk down the path. They walked slowly and in silence, enjoying the serenity, for nearly a quarter of a mile before he took a deep breath and exhaled.

"You remember asking me about Chronos this morning?"

"Of course. You've been yelling it in your sleep for the past couple of weeks".

"Yeah" he said softly, looking down at the path. _Where do I start? How do I tell her?_

They took a few more steps and then she stopped walking. "Tell me what's wrong John. I know something is bothering you".

"Let's walk down to the lake" he said squeezing her hand, but ignoring her request.

They continued walking in silence for nearly half a mile. The noise of their footsteps over dead leaves soon became the only sound within the forest canopy. Upon arriving at the shore of the lake, he stopped walking, inhaled and turned to face her.

"Shayera. Do you….do you remember that day?" he asked.

"What day?"

He drew her closer to him and held both her hands. "_That_ day" he said, frowning.

Her eyes widened and then she looked down. "Yes" she said softly. "How could I forget" she continued, looking back up at him. _I've never been more afraid before or since. You scared me John; scared all of us_. _We were scared by the thing that you had become_.

It was nearly two years ago and she had tried to warn them. Something was wrong with John; something fundamentally wrong.

"This is a mistake. Don't let John go, especially right now" she pleaded with Bruce, Diana, Clark and Wally. J'onn had excused himself earlier from the meeting of the League's founders, and returned to mission control.

"We don't have much choice. The Watchtower isn't a prison" Bruce retorted.

"I think given the circumstances, John probably needs a leave of absence" Clark said in Shayera's direction.

"Death's a hard thing Shayera, even for a tough nut like John" Wally added.

"You don't get it". _None of you do_. "John is a soldier. Not just any soldier, but a Marine. Semper Fi, and all that? He is driven by an extreme sense of duty and right now he is suffering from immense guilt" she said, her voice slowly rising. "He feels responsible for Katma's death. If you let him go on a leave of absence you are only going to make it worse. He shouldn't be alone right now" her voice lowering. _I should know_.

"You're preaching to the choir Shayera" Clark stated.

"Am I! Let's see a quick show of hands of those in this room that have buried a spouse!" she stated angrily, holding up her left hand with Carter's wedding band next to hers.

Superman closed his eyes and looked down. She had shamed him, but it was not her intention. _I'm sorry Clark. You didn't deserve that_. She was merely asking for help because she was desperate, she was panicked and she was right.

"So what do you suggest we do? Tie him down? Confine him to quarters? John is a grown man Shayera" Diana said walking over to her. "He has a right to get through this in the manner he feels best. I hurt for John, we all do, but it is not our place to tell him how to handle his grief. He is a strong and honorable man. He will find his way" Diana said reassuringly, placing her left hand on Shayera's right shoulder.

_If only I could believe you princess_. "You're right Diana, John is strong and that's what has me worried". She stepped away from Diana, turned her back, looked down, and reopened old wounds. "When I was…on my 'mission'" she began, "My primary assignment was to create a profile on each of you. I studied all of your strengths, weaknesses and fighting techniques so that I…we could exploit them" she finished, softly.

"What's your point Shayera?" Diana asked coldly, frowning.

Shayera turned around to face them. "The point is…John has no weakness other than himself. When he wears the ring, John is more powerful than all of us and I do mean 'all of us'. Even you Clark" she said walking over to his seated position. The Man of Steel frowned and crossed his arms. "The problem, or rather the blessing, is that John doesn't know how powerful he really is".

"How is it that we've never seen this?" Bruce asked.

"John's strength of character, his moral compass, is like a governor on an engine, it limits his power" she answered. She pulled out a chair and sat next to the last son of Krypton. "Katma used to tell John that 'the mind is the weapon, not the metal'. Don't you see? The power of the ring is driven by the will of its bearer".

"Okay, Gandolf" Wally said, in an effort to lighten the mood. "What are you trying to say?"

"What I'm saying is that John's power is directly tied to his mental state and eventually, the pain and guilt from Katma's death is going to find an outlet" she stated ominously. "What do you think is going to happen when he finds out it was Star Sapphire that killed Katma?"

There was a silence. Only J'onn and Bruce knew the true extent of John's loss. He had confided in them and them alone that Katma was pregnant when she was killed. Losing two people at one time was something both J'onn and Bruce could relate to.

The Dark Knight broke the silence. "The person that has lost everything is the most dangerous" Bruce said, frowning from behind his cowl. "Nothing to hold them back".

"Exactly". Shayera confirmed. "John has always held back in combat because he was strong, but lately…I don't know. Now he is vulnerable…now he is weak".

"Well someone forgot to tell that to the bad guys because John doesn't look very weak to me" Wally stated folding his arms. "He's been like a one-man army lately".

"That's the problem Wally. On the surface, it might appear that John's new ring skills are a strength, but in reality it's an indication of his weakness". Shayera explained. "Haven't you all noticed how John's combat tactics have changed? He's become vicious, cold…distant". She hadn't wanted to reveal the hurt of her recent lack of personal closeness to him, but it came out anyway.

"I still don't get what the problem is. If this is John at his weakest then he needs to be that way all the time because he's been kickin' villain ass" Wally said.

"I hate to say it, but I agree with Wally" Diana stated. "Everything except the 'ass' part".

"Thanks, I think" Wally replied.

"Look, we are constantly fighting enemies that won't hesitate to kill us if they have the chance" the Amazonian warrior remarked. "I say let John hit them, and let him hit them hard".

"Ya gotta admit Shayera, GL has been pretty effective lately" Wally broke in.

Shayera sighed. "You all still don't get it. What you call effective, I call brutal", she said exasperated. "That's not who John is". _That's not the man I love_. There was a brief pause in the debate and then The Man of Tomorrow spoke.

"Only the weak succumb to brutality" the defender of truth, justice and the American way, softly and solemnly stated. His words, although profound, seemed even more so because unlike many in the room, he was the epitome, the very symbol of strength.

_How often had he wanted to let loose, but then held himself back?_ Shayera wondered.

"So what do we do now?" he asked. Shayera looked at Clark, clasped his hand, squeezed it and smiled. _Thank you_. He smiled back.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Bruce asked.

She knew that John respected Bruce because he, much like John, was born without special powers. He, of all the founding league members, did not walk as a God among men. He was a man, strong, and strong willed like John. If anyone could reach him, it would be Bruce. _If he is still reachable_. "Yes" came her reply.

The words came too late. J'onn's image suddenly appeared on the conference room's main monitor. "This is a Gamma level alert!" the Martian Manhunter stated.

"What's happening J'onn?" Superman asked.

"It's John. He's found her…he's found Star Sapphire".

All those that had been sitting down, stood up immediately. In that instant, Shayera realized that they had ceased being Wally, Diana, Bruce and Clark. They were now Flash, Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman.

"What's the situation?" Batman asked.

"See for yourself" the Martian Manhunter grimly replied before broadcasting the live images.

They stared at the large video monitor in disbelief.

"Great Hera!" Wonder Woman exclaimed.

Superman stared at the screen, his eyes widened and then he became a blur. Faster than a speeding bullet, he was at the Watchtower's transporter center.

"Are those what I think they are?" Flash said gulping.

"Oh, John. No" Shayera said softly, putting a hand up to her mouth.

Batman walked closer to the monitor and frowned. "Limbs".


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Rogue**

Superman was the first founding member to arrive at the battle scene. Star Sapphire's headquarters, or rather what was left of it, was located near the docks in the warehouse district. The battlefield was littered with large slabs of concrete that had been used as battering rams. Several buildings had been flattened and glass from their respective implosions covered the ground. The burned out remains of destroyed vehicles sent black and grey billowing clouds of smoke high into the air. John had gone through Star Sapphire's hired muscle like a bull in a china shop, Superman surmised.

It was a surreal scene as a number of henchmen lay strewn upon the ground like so many toy soldiers. Even without x-ray vision he could see that many suffered from broken bones and other fractures. Some had already gone into shock from the pain caused by the severity of their injuries.

"_They must have been the first line of defense_" Superman thought. His hearing picked up groans that appeared to be coming from his left. He could hear them, but not readily see them. Using his x-ray vision he located two familiar costumed figures partially pinned underneath some of the heavier rubble. As he continued to scan, what he saw horrified him.

"We need to get an ambulance to my coordinates! Now!" Superman yelled into his Com-link.

"Already on it Superman. The local authorities have already been contacted" J'onn replied. "Batman, Flash, and Shayera will be transporting down soon".

"Negative! We are going to need the transporters to rescue…to rescue the maimed" Superman said sorrowfully. "It's bad J'onn. Real bad. These injured can't wait on an ambulance, they need to be transported directly to the Watchtower's infirmary if we are going to save…save their limbs" Superman stated. "Tell the others to take a Javelin down and tell them make it quick!"

"Acknowledged Superman, but we can't transport anyone up without a clear lock on their position" J'onn responded.

"Okay, I'm on it". Superman began to lift the debris off of the two men, taking care not to injure them further. Under the rubble lay Shade and Copperhead, but they weren't whole. Shade's left arm had been cut off, with his left hand still holding his trademark wand. Copperhead's right leg had been severed from the knee down and his tail broken in two.

"He's…he's crazy!" Shade screamed, holding onto his shoulder. His top hat had been crushed and his pale bald head was heavy with sweat. Copperhead remained unconscious, but was breathing.

Superman was surprised at the lack of blood considering the extent of their injuries, but upon closer inspection realized that the wounds had been cauterized. Unlike a physical instrument, the Green Lantern's energy beam had sliced through the men like a laser. Superman could visualize the wounds being closed simultaneously as the beam cut deeper into the men's flesh.

"Stay still and remain calm. I'm going to get you help" Superman assured him. _John, how could you do this?_

Removing the last of the debris, Superman gave J'onn the go ahead to transport Shade, Copperhead, and their respective appendages. Once the transport was completed, Superman heard the approaching ambulances and began to scan the entire area. Even from several miles away it wasn't hard to locate the Green Lantern; his visage was as bright as the sun.

_How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning._


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Captive**

"This is justice!" the Green Lantern yelled, his eyes blazing.

"This isn't justice, John! This is revenge!" Superman cried out, trying to wrestle himself free from the Green Lantern's emerald grip. Superman had believed he could surprise Green Lantern with his speed, but he was wrong. Superman had been snatched out of the air like a fly whose wing beat had been slowed by the chill of winter. Once captured, Superman had tried to reason with him, but his words fell on deaf ears; ears deafened by rage and hatred.

The air crackled around them as the Green Lantern's power level continued to grow. It was an astonishing sight as he had both Superman and Star Sapphire held firmly by energy fields. Still miles away, the Javelin raced toward the battle.

"C'mon Wally, step on it!" Shayera yelled from the Javelin's passenger seat.

"I'm goin' as fast as I can, cap'n" he replied in his best Scottish accent.

"This is serious Wally!" Shayera yelled.

"When is it ever not serious?" he responded.

"Shayera's right. This is serious. Look at these readings" Batman stated, pointing to the sensors on the Javelin's dashboard. "There is a huge energy fluctuation just ahead".

What the sensors had revealed could now be seen with the naked eye as the Javelin cleared the horizon. From the Javelin's cockpit they could see the back of the Green Lantern as his energy beams extended around him. His aura was so bright that it completely masked the color of his costume.

"This is what I was afraid of" Shayera stated. "His energy level is off the chart!"

"Is that why he looks so…so super Saiyony?" Flash asked.

"Quick, while we have the sun to our backs, get behind him!" Batman directed.

Wally activated a switch and the Javelin's afterburners screamed as they awakened.

Unfortunately, the noise of the Javelin's afterburners springing to life gave its position away; the Green Lantern turned and saw them approaching. A sinister smile came across his face as he tried to bring them down.

"Hang on!" Flash cried out, as he banked the Javelin hard to the right to avoid the energy beam. His maneuver caused them to fly past the Green Lantern, but they could now see his other prey. "He's got Superman and Star Sapphire!" Flash yelled out.

"I gotta get out there. Flash, open the ramp!" Shayera ordered.

"What are you going to do?" Batman inquired.

"Try and talk him down" Shayera said.

"You've heard the transmissions, Lantern sounds unstable. Are you sure about this?" Batman asked.

"No, but I know attacking him directly isn't going to work. I've got to reach him mentally…emotionally. Open the ramp door, Wally" Shayera stated, taking a deep breath.

"I hope you know what you're doing" Flash said.

"Me too, Wally. Me too" Shayera replied, walking to the top of the ramp as it slowly opened. The wind came howling into the Javelin as she stretched out her wings and allowed herself to be taken by the airstream. Once she was outside, Flash closed the ramp.

"Just in case this goes bad, we need to provide her with cover" Batman stated. "So try and shadow her".

"You got it" Flash acknowledged.

"Shayera, we are going to give you cover" Batman explained over his Com link.

"Thanks, but don't get too close" Shayera replied.

"Understood" Batman said.

Shayera had allowed the wind and her wings to carry her back to the spot where they originally encountered Green Lantern. By this time he had covered Superman's mouth with a manifested muzzle and had begun to remove Star Sapphire's mask with another energy beam. Star Sapphire was fighting back, but losing badly.

Like Green Lantern, the strength of her power was based on her mental state and the gem on her mask helped to channel her mental energy. In desperation, she gathered all of her remaining mental energy and tried to break free from his grip with one massive blast. He merely smiled when she failed. She watched helplessly as he removed her mask and let it float slowly to the pavement below.

He was still smiling when he manifested the whirling blade.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Mind Games**

Having seen the Green Lantern's latest creation, she beat her wings as fast as possible. If the man she loved was going to be saved it would have to be now.

He brought the whirling blade closer to Star Sapphire's face and she tried to turn her head away. "Puh…Please! No!" Star Sapphire cried out. At that moment, a winded Shayera Hol arrived.

"John! Stop!" Shayera yelled, catching her breath.

He paused and turned to look at her. "This is none of your concern Hawkgirl!" the Green Lantern shouted.

_Hawkgirl?_ "Don't do this John! If you do this…if you kill her, you'll lose everything!" Shayera yelled.

"I've already lost everything!" he responded angrily. "And she is the one responsible!" he screamed, gritting his teeth and bringing the whirling blade next to Star Sapphire's neck. Tears began to run down Star Sapphire's face as she realized her death was imminent.

"No!" Shayera yelled flying closer to him. "John, you haven't lost everything! You just think you have! You have friends who care about you! Friends who…who love you! You're in pain, I know, but this isn't who you are! You're not a murderer!"

The blade stopped turning. For a brief moment, the rage was held in check. The death strike abated.

Recognizing his hesitation, she continued to press. "The man I love…the man I have always loved, is not a killer" she said, flying ever closer to him.

"Love? Love! No! You're just saying that to distract me!" he yelled, restarting the blade and bringing it closer to his captive's neck.

"John! Look at me! Look at me!" she yelled. "You once said that you would give your life for me!" she shouted, positioning herself next to him. "Well, I'm asking you for that life now. Her life. Let her go, John. She's beaten. Please. Do it for me".

A sorrowful look came over his face. "You don't understand, she's taken too much" he replied softly. "More than you know".

"You're right John…maybe I don't know, but I do know if you kill her, you will have allowed her to take it all. Everything you hold dear…Katma, your honor, your good name" she stated, slowly putting her hand on his shoulder. "Is this how you want to be remembered? Is this how the Stewart legacy ends…in dishonor?"

His eyes widened as he tried to speak, "Re…No!" Suddenly his head fell into his chest. He cried out as his entire body arched backward in pain. That is when she noticed it, but before she could process what she had seen, he yelled out again.

"Shayera! Get…get back!" he shouted. Before she could move, he had constructed an energy field and had pushed her nearly a quarter of a mile away from his position. He screamed in agony as lime colored flames shot from his eye sockets.

His energy field had knocked the wind out of her, but for the most part she was unharmed. She quickly caught her breath, hovered for a brief moment and then focused her brilliant green eyes on him. Her vision, although not quite Superman's strength, was still eight times more powerful than a human's. She could see the energy field around him, but something about his aura was wrong. Something was different. And then, in that instant, she knew. What she had seen earlier now made sense. She set the electrical load on her mace and activated her Com link.

"On my mark!" she shouted.

"Are you sure about this?" Batman asked.

"Yes!" she yelled.

"But you said attacking him directly wouldn't work" Flash said.

"Just be ready!" she shouted.

She flew upward to increase her altitude and then fashioned her wings into a "V" shape. She turned earthward and allowed her body to gain speed and momentum. At the apex of her velocity she made a sweeping loop that brought her right on top of him. _I'm sorry John. Forgive me_.

Still reeling in pain, he never saw her coming as she pulled her mace back and then brought it home on the base of his skull. He yelled in agony as the electrical charge from her mace disrupted his brain activity.

"Now J'onn! Now!" she yelled into the Com link. "Do it now!" In that moment, the Martian Manhunter appeared and put his hands on the Green Lantern's cranium. Suddenly, one voice in pain and agony became three voices.

With his higher brain functions interrupted, the Green Lantern's body went limp and the energy fields used to contain both Superman and Star Sapphire evaporated. Exhausted from the battle and unable to maintain flight, Star Sapphire plummeted to earth. However, Superman, now free of Green Lantern's hold, caught her.

Green Lantern began to fall as well, but Shayera grabbed him from behind and put her arms underneath him. She then slowly lowered him to the ground and placed him on his back. She kneeled down and put her head to his chest and listened for a heartbeat. She breathed a sigh of relief when she finally heard it.

She put her hand on his cheek and gently caressed it. _I almost lost you again, John_.

His eyes were closed, but he began to speak. "Th…Thank you…Hawkgirl".

She immediately recoiled in horror as the lips forming the words were John's, but the voice was that of Gorilla Grodd.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Respite**

"How did you know?" the world's greatest detective asked.

"Admit it. Its killing you isn't it?" Shayera said teasingly before walking over to look at the diagnostic machines and monitors in his infirmary room.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean" Bruce replied.

"Uh huh. Well, 'detective', like his power, John's costume is a manifestation of his mind" she stated.

"You mean?"

"Yes. With the exception of his underwear, John is pretty much naked when he has the ring on".

"Whoa. Wait a minute. How can he concentrate? I mean, how can he keep his mind on his outer appearance and do all the other things that he does?" Wally asked.

"Do you concentrate on breathing? Do you consciously tell your body to inhale and exhale? How about walking? Do you tell your body left foot, right foot or in your case Wally, foot in mouth?" Shayera asked, laughing a little.

"No, I guess I don't" Wally said, putting his right arm behind his head and scratching. "Hey!" he said, realizing she had just made a joke at his expense.

"It's no different for John. He subconsciously manifests his costume. Part of it is the Green Lantern Corp's mental training and part of it is the power of the ring" Shayera stated.

"So you're telling me all this time John has been walking around in his…in his skivvies? Cool!" Wally said, smiling. "I bet that came in handy when you two wanted to…"

"Enough!" Batman said, but Shayera giggled anyway. "You didn't answer my question. How did you know about Grodd and Sinestro?"

"Well, I didn't know specifically who was involved. I just knew that John wasn't in complete control of himself" Shayera stated. "But to answer your question, there were two clues that gave it away".

"Go on" Bruce prodded.

"The first clue was the color of his eyes".

"What do you mean?" Wally asked.

"John is the only member of the Green Lantern Corp whose eyes become green when he wears the ring" Shayera explained.

"Aaand?" Wally asked.

"When I was trying to talk him down, there was a point where his eyes became lime colored" Shayera answered.

"How could you tell? I mean lime and green are pretty hard colors to distinguish" Wally stated.

"Not for me. I'm able to distinguish hundreds of different hues of color" she said, tilting her head and lightly flapping her wings. "Ya know, because I've got eyes like a Hawk?" she said blinking rapidly and smiling.

"Boy, are you in rare form" Wally stated, rolling his eyes.

He was right, she felt wonderful. It was if a huge weight had been lifted. Something liberating had occurred. "_Is it just the adrenaline?" _she asked herself. She didn't know and she didn't care. She only knew that for the first time in a long time she felt great.

"Can you continue please?" Bruce interrupted.

"Okay, okay. Sinestro's aura is yellow and John's is green, right? When John started to fight the mind control, their collective energy fields became combined and voila, lime colored aura. To the normal human eye it would have been hard to tell" she explained. "But in my case, the rod and cone light sensing cells in my retinas are extremely sensitive to the wavelengths associated with the color green" she finished.

There was a brief silence.

"Okay. So when did you become Bill Nye the science guy?" Wally asked sarcastically.

"And the second clue?" Batman asked, exasperated.

"Well, the second clue was his costume, or rather the insignia on it" she replied.

"What about it?" Bruce probed.

"It was an upside down lantern" Shayera stated, allowing a small smile to form across her face. "So how stupid do you think I am again?"

The Batman nodded his head and then in a rarity of all rarities, smiled and proceeded to walk out of the infirmary. "Good work, detective" he stated, as the door closed behind him.

"Okaaay. What did I just miss that made Bruce…bleech…smile?" Wally asked.

Shayera laughed aloud. "John is a Marine, Wally. Remember?"

"Yeah. And?" he said shrugging his shoulders.

"The standard military signal for distress is to fly an American flag upside down. Since John couldn't vocally tell us what was happening, he did the next best thing. He used just enough mental energy to turn his lantern insignia upside down until he could break free of the mind control" she explained.

"Ohhh" Wally replied.

"When I got close to him that's when I noticed it" she finished.

"Huh. Whataya know, Batman was wrong…you are smarter than you look" Wally said playfully, before Shayera punched him in the arm. "Owww! I was only kiddin'! Jeez!"

"Get out of here Wally! Go!" Shayera said shoving him toward the exit.

"Okay, okay. I'm going!" he said, walking toward the door. At the doorway he stopped and looked back. "You know he never stopped loving you, right?" Wally said smiling.

Shayera smiled back. "I know". _I never stopped loving him either_.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Recovery**

She stood over the sleeping body of her former lover, drew in a deep breath and exhaled. The danger to his nervous system had passed and his other vital signs and breathing were now normal. However, in the quietness of his room in the infirmary, the emotion of the day finally caught up to her; she broke down. Silently weeping, she sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Oh John. What are we doing?" she said aloud, but softly. She picked up his right hand and held it. "Here we are again. Me watching over you while you lay here recovering from yet another battle. I can't keep doing this. Not with things the way they are". She stroked his hand and continued, "I'm tired John; mentally and physically tired. We've been through so much". She closed her eyes and exhaled, "I lost Carter…you lost Katma. Ever since their deaths we've been dodging each other. Pretending that the feelings we have aren't there. Why? What's wrong with us? Is it the grief, the guilt, the shame?"

Her soliloquy was interrupted as the diagnostic monitors sprung to life indicating that he would soon be awake. For some reason she didn't want to be there when he came to. She didn't know why she felt that way, she just did. She put his hand down, stood up, and began walking toward the door. She was just about to reach for the doorknob when an awake John Stewart called out.

"Hey" he said, still groggy. She didn't respond. "Shayera?" Again, she remained silent. He frowned. "I can't see you, but I know you're here".

Removing Grodd and Sinestro from his psyche had left him temporarily blind, but J'onn had assured her, and a then conscious John Stewart, that his eyesight would return within a few hours.

"Shayera?" he said again, slowly sitting up.

Her back was to him as she remained silent. The air coming through the filtration system vents were the only sounds breaking the room's silence.

"Look, I'm not Ray Charles so I can't hear you breathing from across the room or anything, but I can still smell you". He crossed his arms and continued, "My nose works just fine. Besides, no one smells like you do. No one". He closed his eyes, deeply inhaled and a smile came across his face. "You shampooed your hair today and you're still using that same moisturizer". He laughed and then the smile slowly went away. "Shayera, talk to me…please".

She still did not speak, but slowly turned and began to walk back towards his bed as fresh tears began to form.

He could hear her approaching footsteps. "There you are" he said smiling.

"How are you feeling?" she asked sitting down once again on the side of his bed.

"Terrible".

"You look terrible too" she said smiling and sniffling a bit.

"Thanks, you really know how to kick a guy".

"Ya know, that's two you owe me junior" Shayera said holding up two fingers.

"Okay, Han" he replied, laughing a little and then coughing. He closed his eyes and then slowly lay back down. Had his eyes been open he would have been staring at the ceiling.

"John? What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"You mean besides being temporarily blind, yet trying to understand these awful images I keep seeing?" he replied. He coughed again and then frowned. "What happened to me, Shy?" he asked with some anxiety in his voice.

"Shy?"

"Oh. I'm sorry. 'Shayera'" he restated.

"No. I like it. I like 'Shy'" she said smiling. It was the most comfortable and casual thing she had heard him say to her in a long time. He smiled back. "Okay, you want the long version or the short version?" she asked.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere so give me the long version". He began to cough again and then winced in pain.

"Hmm, how about I give you the short version? You still need your rest John".

"Yeah, that might be best. The back of my head is killing me" he said putting his hand behind his head. "You wouldn't know anything about that would you?" he said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, about that. Sorry John, but it was the only way" she said sheepishly, rubbing her left triceps with her right hand.

"I knew it! You sucker punched me again!" he said in mock anger and laughing a little. "So really, that's two I owe you". She laughed. He couldn't see her, but he remembered how her face would wrinkle at the corners of her mouth when she laughed. He loved it. He loved her too, but couldn't act on those feelings he would tell himself.

"Really, it was for your own good" she said defensively, holding her arms out with her palms facing upward.

"Now where have I heard that before?" he said, laughing. "Seems like I'm always ending up on the wrong end of your mace".

"Please John! I feel bad enough as it is" she said exasperated, but laughing a little. He continued to laugh, but then began violently coughing. She immediately stopped laughing and clasped his hand. "John?"

"I'm…I'm okay" he said slowly exhaling. "C'mon, finish telling me what happened".

"Okay, but afterwards I want you to get some rest. Okay?"

"Okay…Shayera?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're here with me".

She smiled. "Me too".


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Mutiny**

"Okay. Now where were we?" she asked.

"You were telling me what happened" John recalled.

"Oh yeah. Well, Grodd, with the help of Jervis…"

"Who?" John interrupted.

"Jervis Tetch. You know, the 'Mad Hatter'" she said, making quotation marks with her fingers.

"Huh. I never knew his real name".

"Well…"

"Wait a minute, doesn't he usually hang out in Gotham?"

"Yes, but the thing is…"

"What was he doing with the likes of Gorilla Grodd?"

"You see…"

"Bit of a step up for him don't ya think?"

There was a silence as she crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "You gonna let me finish this story or do I have to hit you again with my mace?" she said, glaring at him, although she knew he couldn't see her.

"Sorry. Go ahead" he said putting his hands up.

"Thank you. You're right. Jervis has always been kind of a minor league villain, but uh, don't tell Bruce I said that. He thinks his rogue gallery is 'the bomb'".

"Uhm, Shayera?"

"Yeah?"

"People don't say 'the bomb' anymore".

His comment was met with a frown. "Aaanywaaay" she said, with emphasis. "It seems that Grodd brought Jervis up to the big leagues to help him brainstorm, sorry, bad pun, on developing another mind control device".

"Why? What did he need with the Mad Hatter?"

"John!" she said, exasperated and glaring at him.

"Jeez! Sorry" he said, laughing a little.

"If I could continue, there is a big difference between Grodd and Jervis. We both know Grodd has a natural ability to project mental blasts, but that won't let him control people. Jervis on the other hand, doesn't have any natural ability, but he does have the technology". She paused and preemptively glared at him, in anticipation of yet another interruption. None came. "The two of them built a mind control device that used Jervis' microchips instead of relying on isotopes. Granted, without the isotopes the range of the mind control device was limited, but still extremely effective". She yawned and put her right hand up to her mouth. "Sorry" she said, blinking away tears caused by her yawn.

He heard her yawn and sat up. "When is the last time you had some sleep?" he asked.

"I haven't slept since we brought you back to the Watchtower" she said. "You were in a bad way John. I…we didn't want to leave you" she said, softly, reaching out and touching his hand.

"How long have I been here?"

"Two days".

"Shayera…" he started.

"Shhh, let me finish. Jervis' microchips enhanced Grodd's mind control device, but it still required the planting of a receiving chip on the target. Of course we know now that you were the target".

"How? How did they get to me?" he asked, his voice rising.

"John…" she began and then paused.

He sensed her hesitation. "How, Shayera?" he asked, more directly.

"They had Star Sapphire…"

"No" he said softly and solemnly.

"I'm so sorry John. She…she planted the chip on Katma's wedding band. They replaced one of the diamonds". She paused again and her eyes shifted downward. "When you placed her wedding band on your hand at the funeral…"

Although still temporarily blind, he brought his left hand up to his face and used his thumb to caress their respective wedding bands. He then slowly made a fist. "Bastards!" he suddenly yelled through gritted teeth. "I put her ring on when they lowered the casket!" he said angrily. "Damn them!" he shouted, as he began to breath more rapidly.

"John…"

"They killed her! And for what! So they could get to me! They killed our ba…", but before he could finish, he began coughing and the diagnostic monitors began to loudly and rapidly beep in response to his excited, agitated state.

"John, you have to take it easy!" Shayera said with concern and looking up at the main monitor's readings. His entire upper body had become tense and both of his hands were now clenched fists. She gently lowered him back down so that he lay flat on the bed. As his breathing returned to normal, the monitors' beeping slowed and grew quieter.

Tears started to form through closed eyes as he slowly shook his head. "Why?"

"John, I…I really think I need to stop. You need the rest and the last thing I want to do is upset you right now".

"No. I'm okay…just…go on" he said, exhaling.

"You sure?" she said, with some concern.

"Yeah. It…it just hits me sometimes is all" he stated, wiping away tears. "Go on".

She inhaled and continued. "The years haven't quenched Grodd's desire to destroy Gorilla City or us for that matter. He was trying to use you to do both".

"How?"

"By breaching Gorilla City's security" she said standing up and stretching.

"Impossible. Gorrilla City has one of the best security systems in the world".

"Yeah, but who's going to question a distinguished Green Lantern Corp member when he shows up and asks for a tour of the facility?"

"Hmm. Good point".

"Anyway, his plan was for you to sabotage the control rods and damage the secondary containment structures of the city's nuclear reactor" she explained sitting back down on the bed.

"Cause a nuclear meltdown? Why?"

"Well for starters it would kill all the residents of Gorilla City".

"I meant besides that".

"It would kill just about everyone on the Watchtower too".

"I don't understand. How would a meltdown destroy the Watchtower? We'd just send…" And that's when it hit him. "Damn. Leave it to Grodd to know our standard operating procedures". She smiled knowing he had figured it out. "He knew we would send Captain Atom to absorb the resulting gamma radiation from the meltdown" he said shaking his head.

"Yep. Once Captain Atom received your distress signal, he would arrive, absorb the radiation and…"

"Then Grodd would jump from my mind to Captain Atom's" he interrupted. "Atom flies back to the Watchtower where he releases the absorbed radiation".

"Bingo" she validated.

"Gotta hand it to Grodd, that was a pretty good plan. So why didn't it work? Let me guess, is it because the microchip needed to be placed on the person being controlled? Atom wouldn't be wearing a microchip so Grodd was unable to control him, right?"

"Nice bit of sleuthing there, but you're wrong on that count. All Grodd needs is for another person to be touching someone with the microchip".

"Hmm. So Atom absorbs the radiation, picks up my body and zing, Grodd nabbs him".

"Zing? Is that like the standard mind control device noise or something?" she said laughing.

"Ha ha. Humor me" he said, crossing his arms. "Atom shows up with a now incapacitated Green Lantern and Watchtower security protocols get skipped in order to get me to the infirmary. I become the perfect key to two locked doors; Gorilla City and the Watchtower".

"You're getting good at this" she said, smiling. "I guess the Guardians were right about you after all. You are the 'Opener of Doors'" she said laughing a little.

"Nice. But, I don't remember going to Gorilla City".

"You didn't, but you wouldn't have remembered anyway because Grodd's mind control device suppresses conscious thoughts".

"So what happened? Besides the good guys coming in to save the day, I mean".

"Actually John, it was you who saved the day. You and that noggin'" she said, softly tapping his forehead with her index finger.

"I don't understand. What I remember are scattered images of mayhem and destruction and…dear God". He immediately sat up. "Shadow and Copperhead…" he said, with a look of disgust on his face. "I didn't, I mean, I couldn't…".

"Calm down John" she said, putting her left hand on his left shoulder. "We all thought the same thing too, but…" she exhaled deeply, "It wasn't you".

"That's little comfort. The fact that it was Grodd controlling me doesn't make me feel any less responsible for my actions!" he said, with a mix of agitation and regret.

"Will you shut up and listen! It wasn't you!" she said authoritatively.

A puzzled look came across his face.

"Like I said, at first we all thought you were responsible…even me, but you weren't. I just told you that Grodd's device suppresses conscious thought. Your power works via your conscious control. No conscious John Stewart, no Green Lantern".

"So how did…"

"I'm getting there! Just hold on!" she said, exasperated. She exhaled and pushed her bangs back before continuing, "For all his 'Gorillaness', Grodd's mind is very similar to a human's. It's this similarity that allows him to control people, but with you, he got in over his head. Sorry, bad pun number two".

He opened his mouth to speak, but she glared at him again so he said nothing.

"Through years of Lantern training and experience, your brain works differently than the average Joe. Your mind is extremely strong…sometimes" she said, with a smile. "But it seems you are a tough nut to crack" she continued, before realizing her mistake. "Do not even go there John" she said shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"What? I didn't say anything!" he said innocently, but laughing a little.

"Anyway, to control you, Grodd had to get past two lines of defense. The first defense was your own natural mental strength, and the second your ability to control the ring. So he started softening you up by playing on your emotions after the funeral. The feelings of excessive grief you had…".

"All that time. I thought I was arguing with myself" he said, lowering his head. "I thought it was just my guilty conscious, but all along it was Grodd manipulating me".

"Well that's partly true, John. The feelings you had were real. Grodd's machine can't create those, but he can heighten them thanks to the Mad Hatter's microchips. You felt legitimately guilty so he used that to…"

"Break me down" he said sadly, finishing her sentence.

"Yes. He thought he had broken you too, but he hadn't counted on your second line of defense. He hadn't counted on the part of your brain that controls the ring".

"'The mind is the weapon not the metal'" he quoted his deceased wife. "To be a Lantern you have to learn how to think on a different level".

"Exactly. Problem is that Grodd didn't know how to think like a Lantern so he enlisted someone who did".

"Sinestro!" he said, angrily.

She nodded her head in affirmation. "It was Grodd's inability to control you by himself that ultimately lead to his defeat".

"Wait, Sinestro and Grodd play for the same team. How did their partnership fail?"

"No honor among thieves, remember? Sinestro was initially a team player when he agreed to mentally join with Grodd to help control you. In essence, you had two foreign psyches in your head. Three counting yourself".

"They were tag teaming my conscious?" he asked, with a frown.

"For lack of a better word, yes. Grodd would act as John Stewart and Sinestro would act as Green Lantern".

"I think I'm gonna be sick" he replied.

"Problem is that when Sinestro got a chance to be 'you', he got power hungry. The power of two Lanterns in one was too tempting for him and he tried to overthrow Grodd. He wanted to control you himself so he could humiliate you and ultimately use you to destroy the League".

"A good old fashioned Mutiny".

"Yep. Grodd couldn't have that so he sent Shadow, Copperhead and Star Sapphire after Sinestro. Well…you saw the results".

"So it…it wasn't me" he said, with relief.

"I told you so!" she said hitting him in the arm. "On the surface, the debris from the battle and the cause of the injuries had all the earmarks of a Lantern. So that assumption was right. We just pegged the wrong Lantern".

"Sinestro's no Lantern" he said, frowning.

"Sorry. After Sinestro engaged Shadow and Copperhead, he had his hands full trying to stop Star Sapphire. She's just as powerful as he is and their fight became a stalemate. So he used the mind control device…"

"And augmented his power through me" he said, once again finishing her sentence.

"Correct. When we arrived, we saw you holding Star Sapphire and Superman, but it was really Sinestro controlling you at that point".

"So what happened?"

"Well, as the saying goes, 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend'".

"Grodd".

"He allowed your psyche to break free just long enough for me to reach you and for you to signal us".

He exhaled and turned his head away.

"John?" she said, hesitantly. "I gotta know. That was 'you' I was talking to when that saw appeared, wasn't it?" she asked, softly.

He didn't answer.

"You wanted to kill her, and I know you feel bad about that…"

"No" he interrupted. "I don't feel bad about wanting to kill her. I've wanted to kill her since Katma's death, but when I had the chance…I couldn't do it" he said, turning and looking back toward her direction. "I guess I wasn't strong enough".

"You're wrong John" she said, shaking her head. "Not killing her doesn't make you weak. On the contrary, it makes you stronger than you know. You had the ability and the opportunity to destroy your enemy, yet the willpower not to. Many in your exact position wouldn't have hesitated, but that's what makes you, 'you'".

"I didn't do it alone" he said reaching out to her. "You were there for me".

She took his hand and squeezed it. "You were there for me first".

There was a brief silence as they held each other's hand.

"So what happened to Grodd and Sinestro?" he said, breaking the silence.

"We captured Sinestro after J'onn separated him from your mind. The shock left him unconscious long enough for us to pinpoint his location".

"And Grodd?"

"Unfortunately, Grodd got away, but not before scaring the hell out of me".

"What do you mean?"

"When J'onn removed Sinestro, he removed Green Lantern, which left just John Stewart. Therefore, Grodd was still connected to you. When I was searching for your heartbeat, I was in contact with your chest. As you came to, you began to speak, but it was Grodd's voice coming out".

"How? He can't change my voice".

"Well in actuality, it was still your voice, but in my mind, I heard Grodd. My proximity to the microchip and the residual effects from J'onn's removal of Sinestro, had allowed Grodd's psyche to bleed over into mine. That's the only reason we knew Grodd was even involved".

"You're telling me that had that not happened, I might still be under Grodd's influence?" he asked, with some anxiety.

"Yes and no. Grodd had been injured to the point that he couldn't free himself. J'onn removed him only after a full confession".

"Wow".

"No John. Weird. It was weird watching Grodd use you like a ventriloquist dummy as he spilled the beans".

"You mean…"

"Yes, Grodd confessed through you".

"Are you telling me that I was some kinda…life-size Teddy Ruxpin!"

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know who or what a Teddy Ruxpin is, but if that means you were an expressionless, mannequin-like thing with moving lips, then yes, you were a Teddy…whatever".

"Oh nice!"

"Well if it's any consolation, you sang like a dove".

"Uhm, the word you're looking for there is 'canary'. I sang like a canary".

"Whatever".

"Sapphire. What happened to her?"

"She is being held for murder".

"Where?"

"John…"

"Where, Shayera?"

"Gorilla City. She's in lockdown at Gorilla City. You said so yourself, it's one of the most secure places on Earth".

"Is that for her protection or mine?" he asked, with a bit of sarcasm.

"Both".

"I see" he said, frowning. "And Grodd?"

"Well I'm sure he is going to be doing what he does every night" she said, laughing in anticipation.

"And what's that?"

"Planning to take over the world" she said in her best Brain impersonation.

He laughed aloud. "Narf!" he said trying to imitate Pinky. Both of them laughed.

"Now less talk, more sleep" she said leaning over and kissing him on the forehead. She stood up and began walking toward the door. "I'll come back and check on you in a little while".

"Shy?" he called out.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…for everything".

"You're welcome. Now get some sleep…Teddy" she replied, walking out.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Name Drop**

She was standing on the bank of the lake and reflecting upon the day's events. The morning had begun with a tip-toed conversation around Chronos and John's suggested walk down to their private lake, she recalled. For some reason he wanted to continue the discussion about Chronos there. In the past, their walks usually filled the forest canopy with laughter as they would often reminisce about old battles, old arguments, old friends and old dalliances. The walks were always a fun and relaxing time for them, but today John seemed distant and tense she thought. He had hardly spoken, which was unusual for him. Her initial thought was that he was simply tired, but her keen instinct, honed from years as a detective on her native planet of Thanager, was telling her something was troubling him. Over the past few months, it wasn't the first time she had felt this way.

His increasingly anxious mood was something she had been feeling for awhile and it had started with her pregnancy. She initially chalked it up to John being overly conscious of her past miscarriages, which was partly true, but something else was also there. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something wasn't quite right. As her pregnancy progressed, she remembered feeling John was becoming neurotic about her health. Some days were better than others, but his obsessive behavior seemed to get worse when they were told she was carrying twins.

The sonogram had revealed two strong heartbeats, but John's initial look of joy slowly turned to one of alarm. He didn't know she had seen his reaction. He didn't know his always expressive face had yet again, given away his feelings. His expressiveness was just one of the many reasons that she loved him, but it was the foundation of who he really was; he was genuine. John didn't hide his feelings. When he was angry, he looked angry, when he was happy, he looked happy, but it was his look of sadness that she saw that day.

Seeing and hearing those two tiny heartbeats was overwhelming for her and she spontaneously began to cry tears of joy. Through her tears she saw John slowly reach out and touch the sonogram monitor's screen. He allowed his hand to momentarily rest on it before turning toward his wife and smiling. He then took her hand, squeezed it and began to cry as well. Unlike her tears, however, his seemed a combination of both joy and sorrow, she remembered.

They had videotaped the sonogram session and over the next several weeks she often found John watching it at home. He would stare at the images of their children as if in a trance. He would always start out smiling, but by the end of the videotape, his face would begin to show his anxiety, she remembered. She kept asking him what was wrong, but he simply replied that he was just worried about her and the babies. At the time it seemed a plausible explanation, she thought, and given John's extremely protective nature, she dismissed it.

As she stood by the lake recollecting on the past several months, it dawned on her that John's behavior had changed in another significant way as well. Prior to the sonogram that revealed she was carrying twins, John couldn't keep his hands off of her. He was constantly touching her belly. She remembered how warm it felt when he placed his hand on her stomach and how funny it was to see him bend down and give her a raspberry on the naval. That memory made her smile, but then she remembered how after finding out about the twins, much of his spontaneous touching stopped. He was still as nurturing and loving as ever, but there was something missing. She pondered for a minute and then it hit her. Joy. His joy was missing. He had always been concerned about her pregnancy, but at the foundation of his concern, there had always been a feeling of joy. She had wanted to ask him what had changed, but there never seemed a right time. He would either be coming back from a mission, going on a mission or resting from a mission. She didn't want to bother him with what she believed were merely hormonally-driven concerns. She should have trusted her instincts. It wasn't long before the sleepless nights began and he started waking up with the word 'Chronos' on his lips.

It was Chronos that had inspired the walk to the lake and it was Chronos that had caused them to recall past and painful memories. Maybe it would be Chronos, whatever it was, she thought, that would shed light on John's state of mind. They stood on the bank of the lake, holdings hands, when the snow began to lightly fall. John looked up, closed his eyes and allowed the tiny snowflakes to fall onto his face. She smiled knowing the pleasant memories it brought back for John when it snowed. He inhaled and then deeply exhaled before allowing a small smile to form. She smiled as well, but then broke the silence.

"John, why have we been going down memory lane?"

He opened his eyes and looked out across the lake. "In the past is where the future begins" he said, staring at the horizon.

"Does Chronos have something to do with the past?" she asked.

He turned, looked into her warm green eyes and frowned. "Chronos is about the past and the future, Shayera" he said, before releasing his grip on her hand and walking a few feet away from her. He cupped his hands, blew on them and then placed his hands into the pockets of his flannel jacket.

"John?" she said, reaching out for his arm. She began to feel anxious as he only called her 'Shayera' when they were in public or the conversation was about to turn serious.

"Do you remember Katma's funeral?" he asked, turning and looking at her.

"Yes" she said, softly.

"Do you remember the solo that was sung?" he said, looking out once again across the stillness of the lake.

"John, I really don't want to talk about…" she said, but then stopped herself after looking at his face. His gaze had turned into a steely frown.

"Yes…I remember. I remember the melody, but not…not all of the words" she said, standing next to him and looking out across the lake as well. The snow fell onto her hair, but slowly disappeared. "I remember it was very moving" she said, casting her eyes downward.

This native of Thanagar had never heard gospel music, but she remembered how that song had caused everyone to cry. It had affected John for obvious reasons, but she also remembered how both J'onn and Bruce seemed particularly moved. She had been sitting next to Diana when tears began to slowly roll down Bruce's face. That image, along with watching Diana reach over and hold Bruce's hand while they both cried, is one she will never forget. She thought it strange that the Dark Knight, who had seen so much tragedy in his life, who fought tirelessly night in and night out, who was the emotional rock of the original seven, had finally dropped his guard. She knew Bruce and John's friendship had been steadily growing so she thought his tears were ones of support.

"John? What was the name of that song?" she asked, softly.

He turned his gaze away from the horizon and looked at her with a smile. "The song was 'Take My Hand Precious Lord'".

He turned to look at the horizon again and there was a brief silence between them before she spoke.

"John, I know…I know the anniversary is coming up. It must be difficult for you. Is that what Chronos is about? Does it have something to do with Katma's death? Is that why you've been so…so distracted?"

He closed his eyes, deeply inhaled and then exhaled. "Let's go sit down. I want to tell you a story" he said holding his right hand out. She took his hand and they walked over to the log bench. He used his left hand to wipe the small amount of accumulated snow off of the seat and they sat down. "I had a reason for asking you about that solo. It's relevant to Katma, but no…her death doesn't have anything directly to do with Chronos" he stated. He looked into her eyes, but then turned away. "Shayera…"

"John?"

"Shayera…I have been keeping something a secret from you" he stated softly, lowering his head and casting his eyes downward. She sat up as she felt her stomach suddenly tighten and her breathing quicken.

"Secret? What secret?" she said, with both curiosity and a tinge of anger.

"Two secrets actually" he said, even more softly.

"What's going on John?" she said, now frowning.

He slowly stood up, faced her and exhaled. "His name is Rex Stewart".

When she heard, what was obviously a name, her immediate thought was that John had fathered a child. Her head dropped and she closed her eyes as visions of John and Vixen making love flashed in her mind. _John, how could you do this to me? _She then clenched her teeth, opened her eyes and stood up. Her hands had now become fists and they were shaking from her building rage.

"When! When John! When did she have him!" she yelled.

"What?" he asked surprised.

"When did Vixen give birth! How old is he!" she yelled again, as tears began to form.

"Wait. Shayera, you don't understand".

"What don't I understand John! Huh! What! You had an affair with Vixen. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to put that together! What a fool I was! All this time I thought you were on "missions" and you were cheating on me! Not just cheating on me, but on our children too! How could you do this to me! How could you do this to them!" she continued to yell with tears now readily flowing from her eyes.

"Shayera! Shayera!" he said grabbing her arms. "You have it all wrong!" he yelled back. He tried to look into her eyes, but she turned her head away. "Shayera? Shy? I could never do that to you. Never" he said, softly. "I love you Shy. I would never hurt you like that".

With tears still falling she turned to look at him.

He inhaled and then the words finally came. "Rex is our son".


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: Absolution**

It was a secret that he had kept for nearly five years. It was a secret that had gestated the exact length of time as hers. The irony of the situation did not escape him. His secret was as shocking, if not more so than hers, but for differing reasons. Her secret involved a spy mission, designed to protect the Earth from their mortal enemy or so she had been led to believe. His secret involved a future that was yet to be. It was a future that contained the physical manifestation of their love; a child.

He had seen their future son and wanted to scream it from the highest mountain tops, but couldn't. Had he and Shayera been together, wild horses wouldn't have been able to stop him from running to her quarters and revealing what he had seen. But they weren't together. He was with Vixen at the time, and she was beginning a relationship with Carter.

So for five years he remained silent. For five years he suffered quietly as he watched the love of his life become another's bride and then sadly, a widower. For five years he kept vigil of the secret during his own eventual parting with Vixen, and his subsequent marriage to Katma. But his grandmother always warned him that death came in threes. She was right. Not soon after Carter's death, he too would bury his wife and although only a few knew, he would complete the trifecta by burying his first child as well.

At one point he thought the future had been thwarted, but it appeared there was no stopping the fulfillment of his prophetic vision. The deaths of their respective spouses had given him and Shayera a second chance. It had forced them to confront their own mortality and conversations that should have taken place years ago came to the forefront. They swore not to squander their chance again.

They had been married nearly two years before she became pregnant. The prophecy was being fulfilled he thought. However, instead of just one child, it was soon revealed that Shayera was carrying twins. This was an unexpected turn of events and it caused him a great deal of anxiety. His conscious betrayed him and forced him to bring his long held secret to light. Unlike her secret's revelation, the fate of the world didn't hang in the balance, but their future as husband and wife did.

"What are you saying, John?" she asked with a frown and a degree of puzzlement.

He began to walk toward her. "I'm saying that we, or rather you are going to have a son and his name is Rex".

"Okay, first of all, we agreed not to find out what the twins were going to be and second, we haven't even talked about names yet" she said, putting her hands on her hips. "So what are you talking about?"

He deeply inhaled before answering and walked closer to her. The falling snow had begun to accumulate and the sound of crushed snow underfoot could be heard.

"Shayera. Shy. I need you to listen very carefully" he said reaching out and taking both of her hands. "We will have a son. I have seen him. I have touched him. I have talked to him".

She pulled her hands away and frowned. "You're not making any sense".

He sighed and began to pace. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just a little out of sorts. I just can't believe we are finally having this conversation" he said, putting his right hand on his forehead. "Okay. I'll start at the beginning. Five years ago, me, Bruce and Diana responded to an intruder in the Watchtower. He was trying to steal one of Bruce's utility belts. We confronted him and he attempted to escape in what we thought was something similar to one of Darkseid's boom tubes. We followed him, but when we reached the end, we discovered we hadn't been traveling in a boom tube, but rather in a time vortex". He stopped pacing and turned to face her. "We traveled to the past and landed in 1879".

He told the story hurriedly as if trying to purge the truth from his system. It was a welcome release as he told it in one continuous stream.

She stared at him with a combination of disbelief and intrigue. "Go on" she said, slowly sitting down on the log bench.

"Well, we found out that Chronos was being held captive in a jail cell and…"

Upon hearing the word 'Chronos', a frown came across her face. "Wait. Chronos is someone's name?"

"Yes. He is the one we followed through the vortex".

She inhaled and deeply exhaled. "Why was he in jail?" she asked.

"He was captured by a ruthless outlaw named Tobias Manning who discovered Chronos' time travel device. Tobias began using it to further his criminal empire by going into the future and bringing back advanced weaponry. He kept Chronos around because he was the only one able to program the device. After we defeated Tobias, Chronos said he would help us get back to our correct time, but he lied. He opened up another vortex and again we followed him, but this time we landed in the future".

She raised an eyebrow. "The future?"

"Yes, but we quickly discovered that Chronos had already polluted the timeline. In this timeline the Justice League was on its last legs and Diana…" he said, pausing.

"What? What about Diana?" she asked, standing up.

"She faded out of existence" he said hauntingly. He remembered how desperate Bruce looked while clutching at the air as she disappeared. "In this timeline she was never in the Justice League, maybe never existed at all. We weren't sure what happened really because the time shifts started to become more drastic".

"We? Besides Bruce, who else was with you? Was…was I there?"

He stopped pacing again and turned to look at her. He slowly shook his head in the negative. "The League had been decimated. The only members left were myself, our Bruce, an older Bruce, a younger Batman, an older Static, and…and War Hawk".

She knew. Even before he said the name, she knew. "War Hawk?"

He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Our son, Shayera. Rex Stewart is War Hawk" he said, with a tinge of pride.

The look on her face went from one of disbelief to a frown. She pulled away and then turned her back to him.

"Shayera?"

"Please, John just…continue".

He sighed deeply. "Long story, short, we eventually defeated Chronos, but not before the timeline became even more polluted. At one point, even I faded out of existence".

"How would you know that?" she asked, her back still turned to him.

"Bruce told me. After fixing the timeline and returning to the present, Bruce and I realized we were the only ones who remembered the mission".

"What about Diana?"

"No. She doesn't remember a thing. It's as if it never happened".

"So you and Bruce have kept this a secret for all of these years?"

He cast his eyes downward and deeply exhaled. "Yes".

Her head dropped into her chest, but he could see her breath drifting upward in the cold air. There was a long silence between them as he stood staring at her back.

"Shayera…Shy. Say something. Please".

She turned and glared at him. Her hands had become fists. "What the hell do you want me to say, John? Huh? What!" she stated, angrily. She began to pace in her agitation. "You stand here and tell me that you've met our future son. Then you tell me that you've been keeping it a secret for nearly five years! What words do you expect to hear right now? Good job honey? Thanks for the fyi?" she stated, with much exasperation. She slowly stopped pacing and then turned her head in his direction. "You lied to me, John".

He started to walk towards her. "I didn't lie, Shayera".

She stepped away from him. "No, but you didn't exactly tell me the truth either!"

"How could I tell you Shy? How? We weren't together then remember?"

"Don't you dare, John Stewart!"

"What!"

"Don't you dare try and blame this on me!"

"I'm not, but think about it! You had just walked back into my life! When you flew away that day at Wayne manor, I thought I would never see you again! Then suddenly you were back and I had already started a new life with Vixen! What was I supposed to do? Complicate my life even more? Complicate hers? Complicate yours?"

She turned her head away so as not to look at him.

"So you expected me to come back from the Chronos mission and just walk up to you and say, 'I know we aren't together, but guess what? I just came from the future where we were married and had a kid'? How could you have expected me to do that?"

"You're right, John, that would have been asking a bit much, but…but five years! Five years!"

He cast his eyes downward. "There was never a good time, Shy".

"Never?"

He sighed with some exasperation. "At what point in the last five years do you think you would have been ready to hear this? Huh? When?"

"When? How about before we got married, John! That was almost two years ago! How about when I got pregnant? Why not then!"

She had never been this angry before, at least not with him. She was gesturing with her arms and paced back and forth as the falling snow continued to accumulate. Her voice boomed and echoed across the valley. He didn't know why, but as his wife continued her verbal barrage, the image of Robbie the Robot from the television show Lost In Space, yelling "Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" flashed in his mind. He nearly laughed aloud at the imagery, but the seriousness of the moment stopped him. Lost in his thoughts, he hadn't realized she had stopped pacing and had begun to cry.

"Shayera?" he said, softly and walking towards her.

Her head was down as she continued to cry. She then began slowly rubbing her stomach with both of her hands. She kept them there for some time before looking up at him. Her look was a cold glare, but the words that came next were even colder.

"You son of a bitch!" she yelled through gritted teeth. "You let me marry Carter!"

"Shy…"

"You let me marry Carter!" she yelled again as tears began to roll down her face. "You let me go through…let me go through those miscarriages!"

"Shy" he said, reaching his hand out.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled slapping his hand away. "You knew. You knew all along that we would be together and yet…you let me go through all of that pain. Why, John! Why!" she screamed.

He had no immediate answer. He deeply inhaled and as he exhaled the coolness of the air showed his breath. "You're right. You're right" he said, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have kept this a secret for so long, but I didn't…I didn't want to obligate you, Shayera".

"Obligate me!" she said, still angry.

"Shayera, listen. When you returned, you were still in a bad way. You were wrestling with your sense of purpose. Think about it. Your entire life at that point had been filled with fulfilling one obligation after another".

She opened her mouth to reply, but remained silent as she lowered her head.

"Your obligation as a detective, your obligation as a soldier, your obligation to Thanagar, and…and your obligation to Hro" he said using his fingers to list them off. "I didn't want to add my name to that list" he said reaching out and taking her hand.

She looked up at him and allowed a small smile to come across her face. The tear tracks were still visible, but she had stopped crying.

"I loved you then and I love you now, but love isn't about being obligated to one another. You deserved your life on your terms, Shy, not on mine. Not on anyone's. We started off as friends remember?" he said smiling at her. "And as your friend, I had to stay quiet. It was the toughest thing I have ever had to do, but I did it for you" he said wiping her tears away with his hand. "You've asked me for years why I disliked Carter and I've never answered you. Now I can".

"John…" she started.

"I disliked him not only because he originally came across as a stalker, but he did the very thing that I was trying to protect you from. He obligated you. He obligated you with his nonsense about the two of you being the reincarnation of past lovers".

"How did you…" she started to ask.

"I'm sorry, Shayera, but I read Bruce's report from that mission. I was concerned about you and…"

"John, stop. I know this is going to be hard for you to hear this, but there is something you need to know. I loved Carter for many of the same reasons I loved you". There was a brief silence.

"He and I were nothing alike".

"You're so sure of that aren't you? Well you're wrong, John. You had more in common with Carter than you know".

"What?" he said, with a frown.

"You both loved…you both loved me…unconditionally. I betrayed you, I betrayed the League and I became a pariah to my people, but you still loved me" she said reaching up and touching his face. "So did Carter. He knew I still loved you and yet he loved me anyway...unconditionally".

He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes.

"I'm not proud of the fact that I married Carter knowing I still had feelings for you, John".

He opened his eyes.

"Don't look so surprised. You don't think I know you married Katma even though you still had feelings for me?"

He deeply inhaled. "Dammit Wally!"

"Wally had nothing to do with it, John. It was written all over your face whenever we were alone together".

"I loved Katma, Shayera" he said, solemnly.

"I know, John. And I loved Carter, but let's not pretend that we are perfect people. We weren't then and we aren't now. If Katma was half the woman I knew her to be, I'm sure she suspected it as well. It was the same with Carter. He knew I was torn, but he loved me anyway, even…even at the end".

He embraced her and they stood there in silence for several minutes as the snow fell around them.

She was the first to break the silence. "John, why 'Rex'?" she asked, laughing a little.

"C'mon, Shy. You know Metamorpho is my best friend. He saved my butt on more than one occasion when we were in the Marines" he answered, with a smile.

"Okay, okay, but it sounds like a freakin' dog's name for cryin' out loud. What's his twin's name? Fido? Or better yet, is it Old Yellar?" she said, laughing.

His expression turned serious, but she didn't see. "Shayera…" he said, softly.

"Go on, John, tell me his twin's name or is that some deep dark secret too?" she said, still laughing.

He remained silent as he cast his eyes downward.

"John?" she said, looking up at his face. Her smile disappeared as she saw his expression. It was then that she realized he hadn't mentioned Rex's twin. At all. His words had been carefully chosen, 'you have a son', 'his name'. It was not, 'their names are'.

"Shayera…" he started again, softly.

She quickly pulled away from his embrace, looked down and placed her hands on her stomach. When she looked up again, her expression couldn't hide her fear and anxiety.

"What's his twin's name, John!" she asked in a panic.

"I'm sorry, Shayera, but…"

"No! No! No!" she shouted, as memories of her past miscarriages flashed through her head. The emotional toll it took came flooding back. "I can't go through this again! I can't lose another baby!" she cried out, as fresh tears began to fall.

She had become unnerved from the emotional overload. Finding out about Rex had already rocked her emotionally. Now finding out that she might lose another one of her children was too much. In a state of shock, she began to run in the direction of their home. She didn't know why she was running; she just knew she needed to get away. She needed to escape.

"Shayera! Wait!" he yelled. He instinctively jumped in the air and held his ring hand out to fly after her, but then realized he had left his ring on the bedroom nightstand. Unprepared, he fell to the ground face first. Dusting himself off, he realized that he was going to have to catch up to her the old fashioned way.

She had made it back to the forest, but her physical exertion and state of mind was causing her to hyperventilate. The surroundings began to blur in her mind as the further she went into the forest the more claustrophobic she felt. The obstetrician had warned her about flying, but in her panicked state, her instincts took over. She extended her wings and with a few flaps became airborne.

He arrived just in time to see her take off. "No! Shayera!" he shouted.

It was too late. Her hyperventilation had caused enough loss of carbon dioxide in her blood that she fainted in midair and started to fall.

"No!" he yelled, running as fast as he could to her position.

Only by diving at the last moment was he able to get his arms underneath her to soften the fall. She landed heavy, but his body, and not hers, had taken the brunt of it. His adrenaline allowed him to shake off the pain.

"Shayera! Shayera!" he yelled, but she did not respond. He gently, slapped her face several times. After what seemed like an eternity, she finally responded by taking a deep breath. He quietly thanked God and breathed a sigh of relief.

She was still unconscious when he gently picked her up in his arms. Only after standing up did he notice the crimson red drops in the snow. His earlier relief turned to horror as he realized the drops of blood weren't coming from him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: Deliverance - The Last Chapter**

"Mmmm".

"Doc! Doc! She's waking up!" an excited John Stewart called out. "Shayera? Shy? Can you hear me?" he asked softly.

She groaned and then squinted from the overhead lights as she came to. From the smell and the sounds, her nose and ears told her what her eyes could not. She was in one of the Watchtower's many infirmary rooms. However, out of habit, she asked anyway.

"Where am I?" a still groggy Shayera Hol-Stewart asked.

Her husband, who had been standing vigil at her bedside, smiled and gently stroked her cheek. "You're on the Watchtower" he said, comfortingly.

She put her right hand up to her face to block the glare of the lights and then squeezed her eyes open and shut several times in an effort to shake her mind fog.

"What are we doing here?" she asked before instinctively reaching for her stomach.

Before her husband could answer, her expression slowly turned from bewilderment to terror as her familiar bulge was gone. She immediately sat up, winced from the pain and yelled out.

"John! The babies! _Please let this be a dream! Please let this be a dream! Wake up Shayera! Wake up! _

She closed her eyes, but then opened them only to find an unchanged reality. Her eyes frantically searched the room, but saw no sign of her children. Her anxiety was building and she began breathing rapidly. With each drawn breath, she experienced sharp pains.

"Shayera. Calm down. It's going to be okay. Doc! Doc!" her concerned husband yelled.

"Mrs. Stewart? Mrs. Stewart? I really need you to calm down right now" the attending obstetrician calmly stated, lowering your back to the bed.

"You don't understand!" she shouted, but winced again from the pain.

"Your babies are fine" the neonatalogist said smiling, gently placing an oxygen mask over Shayera's nose and mouth.

Shayera closed her eyes and deeply breathed in the pure oxygen. The pain subsided as her breaths became more controlled and rhythmic.

"Slow breaths, Shy. Slow breaths" her husband said encouragingly, holding her right hand.

She took four deep breaths and then slowly opened her eyes. She then gestured with her left hand for the oxygen mask's removal. The neonatalogist removed the mask and then elevated Shayera's bed. Shayera turned to look at her husband.

"Babies?" she asked, allowing a small, yet guarded smile to form.

"Babies" her husband said smiling back at her and gently moving the hair from her face.

"As in two?" she asked again.

"Yes. Babies with an 's'" he answered, beaming.

Tears began to form.

"They're beautiful, Shayera" he said leaning over and kissing her on the forehead. "Beautiful like their mother".

"What are they?" she asked, as tears slowly began to roll down her cheek.

"A boy and a girl" her husband answered.

"Oh, John…" she started, but couldn't finish. She put her left hand up to her mouth and began to weep. Her husband gently wiped away her tears and hugged her.

"It's okay, Shy. It's okay. Let it all out" he said, softly as tears began to form in his eyes.

She began to weep more vigorously as she reflected upon past and painful memories. She held tight to the father of her children as he gently rubbed her back until both had stopped crying.

"You wanna see em'?" he asked, wiping away his own tears, but knowing full well her answer.

"Of course!" she answered, sniffling.

"Mrs. Stewart, there is something you should know first" the neonatalogist interrupted. "Your twins, as you know, were born premature".

She knew, but still frowned upon hearing the word 'premature'.

"But I want to assure you that they are doing fine and are very healthy. However, I must warn you…"

"Warn me about what?" she interrupted, with some alarm in her voice.

"I'm sorry 'warn' is the wrong word. I meant to say 'inform'. I want to inform you that the twins are on ventilators and they do have endotracheal tubes". Shayera gritted her teeth. "However, it's a standard procedure and precaution. You were pretty far along in your pregnancy and our early tests show that they don't have RDS so no surfactant treatments will be necessary for either one".

"RDS?" Shayera asked.

"I'm sorry, RDS stands for Respiratory Distress Syndrome" the neonatalogist answered.

Shayera breathed a sign of relief.

"You know, your twins had several inherent factors going for them" the doctor stated.

"What do you mean?" Shayera inquired.

"First of all, and we don't know why this is, but female premmies tend to be stronger and more capable of recovering than their male counterparts".

"What about Rex?" John asked, with a little alarm in his voice.

"Well, Mr. Stewart, that's the other bit of good news. Again, we don't know why, but statistics show that premmies with African-American descent tend to do better than those without. So both of your children are covered" the neonatalogist said with a smile. "In fact, we may be able to take them off the ventilators in just a few days".

It was now John's turn to breathe a sigh of relief, as a small grin came across his face.

"Shayera!"

"What?"

"You didn't tell me you were African-American" he said with a big grin.

"Oh, ha ha" she said smiling back.

"Mrs. Stewart…" the doctor started.

"Please stop with the 'Mrs. Stewart', doctor. My name is Shayera and this is John" she stated.

"I know Mrs…uhm…'Shayera', it's just a sign of respect" the doctor explained.

"Well stop respecting me so much" she replied.

"Ya know doc, I think she is starting to feel better" John said laughing.

"What do you mean?" Shayera asked, with some annoyance.

"C'mon Shayera, a sure sign of you being back to normal is your trademark crankiness" he said, continuing to laugh. "And I love you for it" he said kissing her on the forehead.

"I'm not cranky!" she said, slowly lowering her voice. "I'm just passionate" she explained, laughing a little at herself.

The doctor laughed and then asked the question Shayera had waited the past seven months, if not her entire life, to hear.

"Ready to see your children?" the neonatalogist asked, smiling.

The new mother closed her eyes and deeply inhaled.

"Yes!" she replied, opening her eyes and exhaling.

"They are currently resting in the NICU".

"NICU?" she asked, with a degree of anxiety.

"Oh sorry, NICU stands for neonatal intensive care unit" she explained. "They're fine, Shayera" the neonatalogist said reaching out and gripping her right hand.

"Thank you doctor" Shayera said.

"Oh please, stop with the 'doctor' already. It's 'Karen'" she said walking towards the door.

"Thank you, 'Karen'" Shayera called out.

"Mr…sorry…'John' knows the way. I'll meet you down there in a bit" Karen said, exiting through the doorway.

They were now alone.

"So, how are you feeling, Shy?" John asked.

"Pretty good, considering" she answered with a deep inhale.

"You ready?" he asked, smiling.

She smiled and nodded in the affirmative.

"Okay, I'll be right back".

"Where are you goin'?" she asked, impatiently.

"You'll see" he answered, reaching outside her door and pulling the object into the room.

"What is this?" she asked, annoyed.

"Uhm, a wheelchair" he said pushing it toward her bed.

"I know what it is smarty pants, why is it here?" she said, crossing her arms.

"It's for you" he said, pushing it closer.

"Don't need it" she said defiantly, standing up on noticeably weak legs.

"Riiight. Humor me" he said, reaching out and steadying her.

"Okay, but I'm only doing this because I don't want to argue" she said, breathing deeply and wincing a little from the pain.

"That would be a first" he said under his breath and slowly helping her into the chair.

"What was that?"

"Nothing dear".

"Uh huh. Before we go, could you grab my mace?"

"What for?" he asked. "You aren't gonna hit me are you?"

She looked up at him, batted her eyes and smiled. "Please?"

He sighed, but then nodded in the affirmative and left the room. He soon returned with her mace.

"Ya know. I never realized how heavy this thing is" he commented.

She didn't answer, but reached out her hand and grasped the mace as he placed it in front of her.

"Thanks. Now we can go" she stated.

"Yes sir" he said, playfully saluting.

The trip from the infirmary to the NICU was short and they made it in silence. He was grinning from ear to ear, but she was apprehensive as her hands lay resting on the mace in her lap.

"Here we are" he said, making a mock braking noise. "You ready?"

She deeply inhaled and then nodded in the affirmative. As he was about to continue forward, she stopped him.

"Wait. John?"

"Yeah?" he said leaning over the back of the wheelchair and placing his face next to hers.

"I love you" she said with a smile, before reaching up and touching his face with her left hand.

"It'll be okay, Shy" he said, recognizing her underlining anxiety. "I love you too…mama" he said, kissing her on the cheek.

She smiled and then took a deep breath as he pushed her through the swinging doors of the NICU.

"Ya know. I never knew we had an NICU" she said as he pushed her further into the ward.

"Yeah, they added it when Wally and Linda had their scare".

"Right this way" Karen said, greeting them.

"Shouldn't we have washed our hands or something?" Shayera asked.

"Actually, this entire ward is constantly bombarding your body with anti-bacterial measures. You just can't see it. So not to worry, this area is completely germ free" the neonatalogist assured her.

As John continued to push the wheelchair, Shayera could hear and feel her heartbeat quicken as the realization that she was only a few yards away from her children began to hit home. Time seemed to move in slow motion for those last few steps, until at last, her children lay before her.

"Here they are" Karen announced. "Don't let all this equipment alarm you. Your children are doing extremely well. The isolettes and ventilators are just standard procedure".

She knew someone was talking, but her mind and eyes were elsewhere. Her gaze was transfixed on the two ventilators in front of her. They were slightly higher than her seated position so she stretched her neck to get a better look. Her vision, however, remained obscured. Taking a deep breath, she put her hands on the arms of the wheelchair and began to stand.

"Shayera…" her husband began to say in protest.

"I'm fine, John" she said, finding her strength as she arose.

Now standing she could see both of her children. Their isolettes were next to each other and she took a few ginger steps in order to get closer. Her eyes and smile widen as she looked upon her babies. She slowly moved her head and eyes from one isolette to the next. She was soaking them in. She continued to watch in awe as the ventilator helped their tiny lungs slowly and rhythmically expand and contract their chest. She mentally counted their fingers and toes and a large smile came across her face. However, she began to weep when she noticed their tiny wings. She put her left hand to her mouth as tears of joy trickled down her face.

"Told you they were beautiful" her husband said softly, walking up and putting his arm around her.

"After all these years, all the disappointments…" she began to say.

"I know" he interrupted.

"These are our babies, John. Yours and mine" she said looking up at her husband.

He smiled at her and gently wiped away her tears with his thumbs before kissing her gently on the lips and embracing her. They stood in silence, staring at their children before he spoke.

"So what's our daughter's name gonna be? I think you should have that honor because well, Rex was kinda, you know, preordained".

Without saying a word, she slowly pulled away from her husband and a determined expression came across her face.

"Hand me my mace" she said, authoritatively.

He raised an eyebrow, but then reached down and put the mace in her right hand. She smiled at him and turned to her daughter's isolette. She placed her left hand on the clear glass, spread out her wings and raised her now activated mace over her head. John marveled, as the glow from her mace was the brightest he had ever seen it. He put his right hand up to his face to shield his eyes. Then, in a loud voice, she spoke.

"Let the universe know and therefore tremble that a daughter of Thanagar from the fifth house of Hol has given birth! From this day forth, the female seed of Shayera Hol-Stewart shall be forever known as Alexis Hadassah Hol-Stewart!"

After her proclamation, she slowly lowered her wings and removed her hand from the isolette. She turned to face her husband, but he stood there in shock and silence.

"Well, don't just stand there, say something" she demanded, softly.

"I…I don't know what to say" he stated.

"Say you like it".

"I like it" he said embracing her and holding her tightly.

"Oww! Hello! Still recovering from major surgery here!"

"Sorry, it's just…" he began to say.

"I know, John…I know".

"No Shayera, you don't. We need to talk" he said, solemnly.

Before Shayera could inquire further, Karen, the interrupted.

"I'm afraid you are going to have to continue your conversation elsewhere. Visitation hours are just about over".

"We can't stay?" Shayera asked, disappointedly.

"I'm sorry Shayera, but we have to do our daily evaluations" Karen answered. "However, you can still monitor your children without physically being here" she said, reaching into her lab coat pocket.

She pulled out a PDA sized device and handed it to Shayera.

"Whats this?" she asked.

"It's a wireless video monitor" Karen said, pointing to the myriad of cameras on the ceiling. "You can watch them 24 hours a day if you like".

She put the monitoring device in her robe pocket before placing a hand on each isolette. "Mommy loves you" she said, softly.

"C'mon, 'Shayera of the fifth house of Hol'" John said, trying to help her back into the wheelchair. She resisted at first, but finally sat down with a deep sigh. "They're in good hands, Shy" he said pushing her out of the NICU.

"I know, its just…now that they are here, I mean really here, I don't want them out of my sight" she explained.

"I feel the same way, believe me. Hey, why don't you try the monitor?" he said, continuing to push her down the corridor.

She pulled the monitor from her robe pocket and turned it on. Once the device completed booting up, a security measure required her to place her thumbprint on the monitor's screen. After complying, the monitor revealed a real-time, bird's-eye view of the twins.

"Look! There they are" she said, smiling.

"Let me see. Cool! Ya know, I think you can move the camera around with the keypad".

"Really?" she touched the up arrow and the twins' image moved forward. She touched the left arrow and their image moved to the left. "Neat!"

"See? Now you can keep an eye on them" her husband said, reassuringly.

She smiled as she looked down at the monitor and played with the directional buttons.

"I still can't believe it, John" she said, looking up. "After all of the heartache, the pain, the uncertainty, and here they are".

"Yeah, I know" he said, smiling. "It's been quite a journey, but with Rex and Alexis finally being here, it's made it all worth it. We're parents now, Shy! Can you believe it!" He pushed her a few more yards and then suddenly laughed aloud.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"I was just thinking of something Wally said when he first saw the twins" John said, still laughing a little.

"I can only imagine. Do I even want to know?"

"He called them…our little Chocolate Cherubs" he said, laughing harder.

She sighed and shook her head.

"Earth humor is still so foreign to me" she said, a little exasperated.

"That was funny, Shy. Trust me".

She laughed, but only because she was happy to hear her husband laughing again. It had been so long since she heard him genuinely enjoying himself. She hated that eventually their conversation would have to turn more serious.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

"Observation deck Beta" he replied.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened?" she asked, softly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, knowing what she meant.

"How did I get to the Watchtower?" she answered.

"Here we are" he said, ignoring her question as they arrived at the private observation deck. "Beautiful isn't it?" he stated, looking out at the stars.

"It is" she replied. They continued to look in silence at the heavens before she spoke up. "You didn't answer my question, John".

"Shayera…" he began.

"The last thing I remember, you were telling me that when you went to the future, you didn't meet Alexis. After that, it gets kinda fuzzy" she said, interrupting him.

He stood behind her wheelchair as they looked at their reflection against the backdrop of stars. He deeply exhaled before speaking.

"Shayera…to put it bluntly, you kinda freaked out". Her reflection revealed a frown. "You ran into the forest and then tried to fly away, but you couldn't maintain any lift. I caught you just as you were falling to the ground". He took his hands off the wheelchair's handles and walked around to face her. He squatted down and held her hands. "After your fall, things got kinda dicey".

"Dicey?"

"Yeah…you started bleeding, Shayera" he said, solemnly.

He could feel her squeeze his hands as a pained expression came across her face. She cast her eyes downward and her head hung low. Her distinctive horned bangs fell over her face, covering her forehead.

"John, I'm so sorry. I almost lost the babies. What was I thinking?" she said, sorrowfully.

"Hey, hey, hey" he said, putting his right hand under her chin and lifting her head up. "You have nothing to apologize for, Shy. If anyone should be apologizing, it's me. I caused your panic attack. You were just reacting to what I told you".

She lifted her eyes and a small smile formed. "You have always known how to pick me up. I love you, John Stewart" she said, placing her right hand on his left cheek.

"I love you too, Shayera Stewart" he replied.

Seconds passed as they continued to gaze into each other's eyes.

"So after you caught me, then what happened?" she asked.

"Well I didn't so much as catch you, as break your fall. It was when I picked you up that I noticed you were injured".

She instinctively put her left hand to her stomach.

"So what did you do?" she asked.

"I panicked!" he said, laughing a little.

She smiled at him and he smiled back, but his mood changed as he stood up and walked over to the observation deck's window. He stood by the window looking out for several seconds before speaking again.

"I was scared, Shy" he finally said, softly. "I didn't have my ring and I didn't want to risk moving you without knowing the extent of your injuries. I thought…I thought I was going to lose my family all over again".

She could see tears forming in his eyes from his reflection in the window.

"John?" she said with concern and slowly standing up. She walked over and stood in front of him. "You okay?"

He held her right hand with his left and closed his eyes. A small smile appeared as he took comfort in her touch.

"John? What did you mean when you said you thought you'd lose your family again?"

He opened his eyes and began to look out of the window. He deeply inhaled before speaking.

"Do you remember when I asked you about the solo at Katma's funeral?"

"Yes, you said the name of the song was 'Take My Hand Precious Lord'".

He was surprised she remembered the title, but it made him smile.

"Well, there's a reason I chose that particular song, Shy". He motioned for her to sit back down in the wheelchair before continuing. "It's a song about hope and faith in the midst of tragedy and loss".

After helping her to sit down, he turned, looked out toward the stars and began his narrative.

"Ya see, in 1925, Thomas Dorsey, the son of a preacher, married Nettie Harper. A year later, however, he suffered a nervous breakdown and his wife had to work in a laundry to make ends meet. Prior to his nervous breakdown, he had been a successful blues musician, but after a spiritual experience, he committed his talents to gospel music. One August night, in 1932, while finishing his performance as the featured soloist at a revival, he was handed a Western Union telegram that had four simple words, 'your wife just died'".

A sad expression came over Shayera's face.

"Dorsey raced home to find that his wife had indeed died, but he also found that his wife had given birth to a baby boy. He was emotionally torn between both grief and joy, but sadly, his joy soon turned to more grief. His baby boy died in his arms that night as well. Grief stricken, he buried his wife and son in the same casket".

John paused as tears slowly began to fall down his face. Seeing his tears and being ever the detective, Shayera finally realized the parallel and awful truth. With tears in her eyes, she stood, walked over to her husband and embraced him from behind. Again, as she had done so many years before, she spread her wings and wrapped them around him.

"I'm so sorry, John. I never knew" she said, resting her head against his back.

Through flowing tears, John continued the story.

"In his grief, Dorsey blamed God for his loss and turned away from his faith. Concerned about his state of mind because of his earlier nervous breakdown, a friend arranged for him to be alone in a music room with a piano. In the stillness of the room, he was overcome with a sense of peace as he began to key a melody he had never heard or played before. The words and melody for Take My Hand Precious Lord were born that day. Out of his tragedy came triumph, as Dorsey created the greatest gospel song of all time. He watched his song get translated into over 30 languages before his death in 1993".

He squeezed his eyes shut as he came to the end of the story. He was now openly sobbing and Shayera continued to hold him tight.

"It's okay, John. Now it's your turn. Let it out. Let it all out" she said, softly.

They remained in that position for several minutes as John purged his soul of the grief he had never fully expressed. Once his sobbing had stopped, he spoke.

"That's how I did it Shayera...that's how I got you to the Watchtower. Faced with losing my family again, I remembered how Kat had willed her ring back to me from thousands of miles away. I had never been able to will my ring for more than a few yards away, but when I realized I might lose you and the babies, I concentrated like never before and the ring came".

"Why didn't you tell me, John?" she asked. "Why didn't you tell me that Katma was pregnant?"

"How could I, Shy? You had already had your first miscarriage. When Kat got pregnant, I didn't want you to think I was throwing it in your face".

"Oh, John. Can't you see what happened here?" she said, shaking her head. "Don't you remember what you told me after I rejoined the league and was struggling with my purpose? You told me that everything happens for a reason. You said you didn't believe in coincidence. You said you believed in providence. Do you remember? Well, Alexis' middle name is 'Hadassah', John…'Esther'" she said, smiling.

He slowly began to smile as he realized the meaning behind his daughter's name.

"Do you remember now?" she asked.

"Yes" he said and nodded in the affirmative.

"You once told me that I was this planet's 'Esther'. However, I didn't understand because I had never read the Bible, but when you told me her story, the parallel was eerie; downright spooky even. A woman in a strange land, forced to hide her true identity, struggles with her duty to her people, but thanks to a personal relationship, foils a plot to exterminate an entire race of people. You said that was me, John. You said I was Esther. Like Esther's cousin you asked me, 'how did I know that for such a time I was not born?' You said without me, the Earth would have been destroyed. You said what I viewed as a betrayal was really a benediction for billions of people. You helped me see that through my own personal tragedy, there was actually a triumph. You helped me see my life had meaning, John".

"I married well" he said, smiling.

"So did I" she said, smiling back. "Don't you see, John? You were right once again, were it not for Katma's death, you wouldn't have had the example or the will power to save me and our children. It was your tragedy to triumph moment and now we have two beautiful babies to show for it".

He had never pictured his own situation in those terms. All these years he only saw tragedy.

"Thank you" he said, softly.

"For what?" she asked.

"For staying the strong, insightful woman I fell in love with so many years ago. You're going to be a wonderful mother, Shy".

"You think so?"

"I know so" he said, before kissing her. She kissed him back and they embraced.

They were still embracing as they watched a javelin make its final approach. He sighed.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I just realized something".

"What?"

"Number one, I don't have any more secrets and number two, I no longer know the future".

She laughed. "Nor do I. So what happens next?"

"I guess we take it one day at a time from now on" he answered.

"One day at a time?" she asked.

"One day at a time" he replied.

"That's not gonna be easy" she stated.

"Nothing worth having ever is".

She smiled and then sat down in her wheelchair. "C'mon 'daddy', drive me back down to the NICU, I'm having BBWS".

"BBWS?"

"You know, beautiful baby withdrawal symptoms".

"Groan" he responded.

"Oh, home Jeeves!" she said sarcastically.

"That's James" he corrected, shaking his head.

"Whatever".


End file.
